10 Years Later
by Queen-of-the-Merry-Men
Summary: The day they graduated high school Robin Locksely broke Regina's Mills heart. 10 years later and it's still his biggest regret. He's thought of her everyday since but now it's time for their high school reunion. Regina Mills is back in town and Robin has one chance to undo the worst mistake he's ever made.
1. Chapter 1

She looked good.

Better than he remembered, she took his breath away at first glance, nostalgia and regret sweeping over him the second he caught sight of her.

When David suggested that they host the first night of the high school reunion Robin's first instinct was to roll his eyes. He knew it was coming up - the ten year anniversary of their graduation - but he hadn't planned on celebrating or even attending the reunion everyone seemed so intent on shoving down his throat. It just seemed like a waste of time or money to commemorate something so arbitrary. Despite the fact that events would be taking place all over town for the weekend, he hadn't even planned on going.

That was until he realized that it might be his only chance to see her again.

So he caved and let David and his wife take over the Golden Arrow for the night. It wasn't as if the old bar couldn't use a boost. A night of drunk high school alumni could be just what he needed, financially speaking.

The reunion kick-off had started at seven. By 7:30 the place was filled wall to wall with former Storybrooke High grads. Honestly, he was a little surprised by the turn out. He'd expected for most of his old classmates to blow this off but even from behind the bar he could see face after face, all familiar, trailing into his family's bar, most of them joking about how they could actually use their real ID's this time.

The atmosphere was joyful, all around people were reminiscing about the past, marveling at the changes they'd made since then. He saw people he hadn't seen in years, looking thinner or fatter, in love, with children or well-traveled. Some of them looked lonely or disappointed but those were ones filling up at the bar so he wouldn't begrudge them their regrets. It's not like he didn't have a few of his own.

He hadn't expected her to show. He'd wanted her to, hoped she would but he didn't expect it.

Then her heard that laugh.

That deep, fluttering giggle he'd recognize anywhere.

The sound of it hits his ears and like magic he was back in the bed of his pick up with her, fantasizing about their future, all the adventures they'd have. They were gonna see the world together, go to college, have babies… get married. They'd planned their whole lives on nights like those, nights where it was just him and her, and the moon and the fireflies dancing in sync to the staticy music playing out of his old radio.

He almost didn't turn to look at her, didn't know if he could handle it to be honest. But he forced himself to, not wanting to be a coward.

Her hair is the first thing he sees. It's shorter, straighter, more grown up, different from what he remembers but still familiar. He'd run his fingers through that hair so many times, he'd never be able to forget it. She's not facing him but he knows that it's her. He'll always know her. He'll always see her… even when she's not there.

Ten years without her has proved that.

He can only see the back of her head, but it's enough to make his heart clench with anticipation. Will she look different? Will she be different? What will she do when she sees him? Probably give him the slap he deserves. He'd earned that and so much more for what he'd done to her. For what he said. For God's sake why won't she turn around?

As if on cue, she turns on the heel of his last thought, spinning around to greet someone who's walked up, revealing her beautiful face and unwittingly answering his first question.

Nothing's changed about her.

She looks older. Her jawline is sharper, her smile lines are more defined as she grins and her lips bear a shade of lipstick she wouldn't have dared to touch when they were together.

But even with all those things she's still _her_.

He still wants to drown in her chocolate colored eyes. He'd still make a fool of himself to bring out that bright, wide grin that resides on her face.

After all these years she's still her, the same girl that he fell in love with.

Nothing has changed.

She spots him and he suddenly realizes that he's staring at her. He wants to look away but he can't. Instead he just offers her a weak, apathetic wave; too cowardly to do anything more, like walk over and hug her like he so desperately wants to.

Her smile dips a bit when she sees him, and he knows she's remembering what he did, what he'd said to her. How hurtful he'd been. She masks it well, pulling her grin tighter, waving at him a little shyly but still enthusiastic, as if she's happy to see him. She must've known that she would. She was in his bar after all.

An old member of the chess club suddenly appeared at the counter asking for a round of tequila shots, forcing him to tear his eyes away from her.

He spins around reaching for the cheap tequila from the bottom shelf, feeling every internal alarm he has go off inside him. His heart pounds as he pours the liquor into eight shot glasses, silently trying to calm himself down. He never drinks on the job, it pulls focus but fuck it, he needs something to settle his nerves.

Reaching under the counter he pulls out a ninth glass and pours a quick shot for himself. He downs it before turning around handing the tray to an old classmate who instantly disappears into the crowd. Once he's walked off, Robin takes a deep breath and sneaks a glance to where saw her standing but she's long gone.

His heart sinks at the thought of that being it. Ten years of regret and it passes by with a small wave, nothing more. Hardly a fitting ending to the story he's built up in his head.

"You always did look good behind the counter."

A voice like whiskey reaches him and he knows that it's _her_ , turns to see her sitting at the bar, hands folded expectantly against the counter, smiling at him like the minx he knows she is.

A grin sneaks its way onto his face when he sees her up close. Still beautiful, still holding his heart.

"Hello, Regina."

"Hi, Robin."

Her greeting comes out softer than the line before it, and somehow he can tell it's the first time she's spoken his name in years. She looks him up and down as he walks over to her side of the bar, her gaze growing softer the closer he gets.

"What can I get you?" he says, leaning against the counter.

Her lips part, hesitating before she speaks. She lets out a nervous huff before bowing her head, looking back up and shrugging. "Bourbon, four glasses for the old gang."

She tilts her head back toward the table and he sees her old friends staring at him, intently. He can't help the small chuckle that comes out when he sees the three of them glaring at him. "So the Queens of Darkness all back in town? Never thought I'd see the day."

Regina rolls her eyes but smiles. "We pull the coven together for special occasions," she quips.

Robin knocks on the counter, turning away from her to pull his best bourbon off the top shelf. "So… heard you became a big shot lawyer?"

She nods, a bit of pride peeking through on her face. "Wouldn't call myself a big shot but I got the degree, yes."

"Good. I'm happy for you," he says, offering her a genuine smile.

It wasn't a lie. He was glad that she'd left this town behind. She'd always been meant for more, even when she couldn't see it herself.

Tilting her head at him, she smiled. "You took over the Golden Arrow."

Robin sighed, sheepishly nodding his head. "Yeah… fate caught up with me, I guess."

"Your father would've been proud."

He presses his lips together, stung by her comment. He'd heard it so many times in the last few years; it was never meant to be hurtful but it always left an ache.

She notices the pain that goes across his face and turns somber. "I heard about him. I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago and we all saw it coming," he mumbled.

His father had died barely a year after she'd left. Standing at that grave watching the only family he had left sink into the ground, he'd prayed that she'd show up… but she didn't.

Regina stares at him, searchingly. "I heard you were married, too," she said, softly.

He sees her eye the wedding band on his right hand. Still shiny as the day he'd first got it.

She pulls together a sad smile, dropping her eyes to the counter. "Looks like the rumours on that are true."

"They were," he swiftly corrects, regaining her attention. "I was married. Not anymore."

"Oh."

Something passes across her brown eyes at his words. Something that looks like hope, relief or a number of other emotions he dares not to wish for.

Staring into her brown eyes, it feels like something opens back up between them. A possibility arises.

He sets her glasses of bourbon on a tray and passes it over to her. "It's good to see you, Regina."

She smiles at him tentatively. "Good to see you too Robin."

Just like that she's walking away from him, disappearing into the crowd… taking her heart with him, just like before.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoy this new verse! Please leave a review if you can!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_10 years before..._**

 _Regina always loved the nights in Storybrooke. During the day she would dream about running off to some big city, a place where the people were different and the streets were livelier where she could just be herself but at night she couldn't imagine anywhere better to be than right where she was._

 _Laying down in the back of Robin's pick up at the edge of the lake, hearing the sound of the crickets blend into the music from the radio and cuddling next to him for warmth. He was always so much warmer than her._

 _She intertwined her fingers with his and sighed as she looked up at the moon, suddenly wistful. "I can't believe we only have three weeks before graduation."_

 _Robin's chest swelled beneath her cheek as he sucked in a deep breath. "I know. Only few more weeks left and we'll be out of here."_

 _"Off to start our lives in Cambridge," she mumbled._

 _Without even looking up she knew he was grinning. "You can say Harvard Regina. It's not a jinx."_

 _"You don't know that," she laughed, shaking her head. A soft, excited hiss escaped her. "I still can't believe I got in."_

 _"Of course, you got in," he said. "They would've been crazy not to take you."_

 _It had been three days since she'd gotten her acceptance letter. Seeing that big envelope with the Harvard crest it felt like her heart was gonna explode. She'd worked her whole life for this, busted her ass so she could have a chance to escape this town. Knowing that she'd actually succeeded… well, she couldn't imagine a better feeling._

 _"You sure you still want to lug me along with you?" he joked._

 _Gently slapping his chest, she chuckled. "You say that like you didn't get into UMass."_

 _He snickered running his hand along her spine. "I think we both know that was only possible because of you."_

 _She shrugged her shoulders humbly but they both knew it was true. Ever since they were kids he'd always had her to push him, dragging him to study halls with her, encouraging him to do better even when he didn't think he could. He doubts he would've graduated high school without her, let alone gone to college. But here they are, on the edge of change feeling like they had the whole world at their fingertips. Maybe they did._

 _He taps her shoulder, suddenly curious. "Hey, did you get your class ring yet?"_

 _Annoyed, she rolls her eyes. "Nope and I never will now."_

 _"What?" He sits up, his face twisting to show his skepticism. "Why not? What happened?"_

 _Regina scoffed, shaking her head. "My mother never ordered it. She said it was a waste of money and I'd probably end up losing it."_

 _Robin grits his teeth, silently cursing Cora Mills to hell. He'd never liked Regina's mother but hardly anyone in town did. She was always belittling her, or saying something condescending. When Regina had told her parents that she wanted to go to Harvard, Cora had been the first to say that it was damn near impossible. He couldn't imagine that she felt good about being proven wrong._

 _Sighing he reached for his own hand. "Well that just won't do."_

 _A grin appeared on Regina's face when she saw him twisting off the class he'd only gotten the day before. "What are you doing, Robin?"_

 _"Giving you a class ring," he said, matter of factly. Taking her hand in his he slipped it onto her finger with ease. "There you go. Storybrooke High Class of '08."_

 _Regina smiled, softly laughing as she looked down at the gaudy golden ring he just placed on her finger, it's manufactured ruby glistening in the moonlight._

 _"What about you?" she asked. "Don't you want a class ring?"_

 _"You're valedictorian, you deserve one more than me," he said shrugging his shoulders. "Besides this is just a loan anyway."_

 _She raised her eyebrows at him. "A loan?"_

 _"Yes," he hummed. "It's only until your father can order you your own or…"_

 _He trailed off, leaving her in suspense._

 _"Or?" she softly asked._

 _He looked her at her, sincerity sparkling in his blue eyes. "Or until I can replace it with something better."_

 _Deep inside, Regina felt her heart flutter. Gently, she reached out to rest her hand against his cheek, a breathless smile on her face. "I love you, Robin."_

 _"I love you Regina."_

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Making her way through the bar Regina's heart pounded in her chest. She sucked in a deep breath through her nose, hoping it would help steady her hands as she carried a tray of drinks back to where her friends waited.

She still couldn't believe that she saw him.

She knew that she would. She'd planned on it, in fact, but she still couldn't believe she'd seen him. That she'd stood across from him like that and just talked.

Robin Locksely.

The stupid fucking love of her stupid fucking life. She couldn't believe that she'd just seen him. She couldn't believe that he'd just stood there and talked to her like it was nothing, like it was easy.

And she definitely didn't believe that he couldn't believe that he'd had the audacity to look that goddamn good.

He'd always been attractive, she knew that, but time had been unfairly good to him over the last decade. He'd filled out since the last time she saw him, his biceps looking stronger than she remembered. His chin had lost the tiny bit of baby fat that he had at graduation and replaced it with a healthy layer of scruff that she couldn't help but imagine running across her skin. The only thing that remained the same were his eyes.

Those deep blue eyes that she thought held her entire world when she was a girl.

Her knees had gone weak at the sight of them, at the sight of him behind that bar smiling at her, just like he used to. Reminding of her what it used to feel like back when she actually thought he loved her.

Finally reaching her friends she set the tray on the table before sinking into her her eyes on the glasses of bourbon in front of her she didn't even need to look up to feel the judgement coming at her from all sides.

Over the music, she heard someone clear their throat. Sucking in a deep breath, she looked up to find her friend, Mallory, with a glass of bourbon in her hand, looking at her with a tight, close-lipped smile on her face.

Regina sighed. "Yes, Mal?"

Mal took set her hands against table before speaking. "Well, the girls and I were watching your little encounter and we noticed something."

"What did you notice Mal?" said Regina, reaching for a glass of her own and offering up a wry smile.

"We noticed you weren't kicking his ass!" barked her friend Ursula. Sitting next to Regina, she shook her head before grabbing a bourbon. "I took time off work to see that throw down"

"You took time off work because you hate your job," deadpanned Carlotta, already sipping her drink.

"I can be here for two reasons," argued Ursula.

Regina smirked, listening to them banter. She knew they were disappointed but sitting at the table with them felt just like old times. Mal, Ursula and Carlotta were her oldest friends in the world. She'd met them in high school, they'd kept in touch all through college and by a stroke of luck they'd all ended up in Boston afterwards. These women were her lifeline.

They were also the first ones she called when Robin broke her heart.

"You didn't confront him?" asked Mal, leaning forward on the table. "After all this time? I thought that's what you wanted."

"Well I change my mind," said Regina, lifting her glass to down all the bourbon in one gulp.

Ursula pursed her lips, unconvinced. "You mean he flashed his baby blues and you went weak."

Carlotta hummed in agreement, raising her glass. "He smiled and you melted, didn't you?"

Regina glowered at them, pissed that they could read her so easily. "It's not like that," she lied. "I just… it's been ten years. And what he did was shitty but I am not gonna be the crazy one at this reunion who freaks out on a guy she hasn't spoken to in a decade. I'm better than that. Plus I'm over it. I'm over him."

Mal stared at her, the doubt evident in her blue eyes. "Really? You're over him?"

Setting her glass down harder than she intended, she stares defiantly into Mal's eyes. "Absolutely. One hundred percent."

Mal shakes her head with a smirk but remains silent.

Put off Regina sighs before adding, "I have more important things in my life than Robin, you know that."

It's enough to get Mal to soften her judgement, tilting her head she concedes, "Fine, but I still think he should burn in a ditch."

Regina chuckles. "Noted."

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out to see her father's ID.

"I gotta take this," she mumbles before slipping away from the table.

Raising the phone to her ear, she finds a quiet corner near the bathroom to answer her father's call.

"Hi daddy," she whispers, a smile creeping onto her face. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she hears him assure her. "I just wanted to check on you. How's the reunion going? Catching up with old friends?"

A small huff escapes her. "More like old ghosts," she mumbles. Changing the subject, she asks. "How's Henry doing?"

"He's good as always," says her father, and she can practically hear his smile through the phone. He was so pleased the day he realized he was getting a namesake.

"He's grown so much since I saw him last."

Regina chuckles softly. "Yeah, well he better be. He's practically eating me out of house and home."

"He's nine years old Regina. I wouldn't expect anything different," her father replies.

They chat for a minute more, her father double-checking Henry's bedtime before letting her go. Pulling the phone from her ear she peacefully sighs, reminded that despite how she once felt about him the man standing behind the bar tonight was not the love of her life.

That title went to her son.

Her beautiful, nine-year-old son.

* * *

 _ **Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review if you did!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_10 years before…_**

 _Rushing down the street, Robin kept a tight grip on the garment bag he'd thrown over his shoulder. He'd just picked up his cap and gown for the graduation ceremony and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. One more week and he'd finally graduate from high school._

 _Though a part of him was feeling nostalgic about Storybrooke, more of him was excited about all the things to come once he left. He'd be going to college. It was just a state school, barely two hours from the town where he grew up but still he was the first in his family to go. His dad couldn't be more proud of him, saying so whenever he got the chance._

 _He just hoped his father was equally excited about the next big step he'd be taking._

 _Robin knew they were young, he knew it was crazy but he also knew there would be no girl more made for him than Regina Mills. She was smart and funny, sexy as the devil. But most importantly she made him want to be better than he was. Every time he looked into her brown eyes all he could think about was how much he wanted to give her the world._

 _That's why he wanted to marry her._

 _He was going to ask her after graduation. While everyone else celebrated he'd steal her away, take her to the lake where they spent their nights, get down on one knee and ask her to spend the rest of their lives together._

 _He knew he should be more nervous, that he should be more worried about what she would say, what their futures would look like but he wasn't. Everytime he thought about it, he just felt more certain. Regina Mills was his future._

 _He just hoped his father agreed._

 _Walking through the door of the family bar, he found the place empty as ever but that was unsurprising for a Thursday afternoon._

 _"You're late."_

 _A voice called out from behind the bar and he saw his father standing there wiping down glasses. Practically a mirror of his son, they both carried the same sandy brown hair and dimpled cheeks, the only difference being the stern look the older man had etched onto his face._

 _"Pretty sure they won't teach punctuality at college," he chided._

 _"That's okay," replied Robin, shrugging his shoulders, a grin still on his face. "I've still got plenty of time to learn it from you."_

 _His father tried to remain stern but his face cracked into a smile at his son's wit._

 _Robert Locksely was a hard, sturdy man who could melt at any moment. He'd gone to war, been through hell, could handle himself in a fight and wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. He was also the first person to laugh at a stupid pun and the last to lift his hand in violence unless necessary. Growing up Robin couldn't have asked for a better father._

 _"Sorry I'm late, dad," he apologized. "I had to pick up my cap and gown."_

 _"Oh yeah?" Robert smiles. "How's it look?"_

 _"Exactly the same as everyone else's," says Robin, rolling his eyes and taking a seat at the bar. "Just like a blue garbage bag."_

 _"Well I'll be taking fifty pictures of you in that garbage bag just so you know," said Robert._

 _Throwing his head back, Robin groaned. "Really dad? C'mon…"_

 _"Hell yeah I'm taking pictures," he replied, a grin appearing on his face. "It's your high school graduation. I won't get another chance to be this proud of you until you graduate college. And on that day I'm taking even more pictures."_

 _Flashing his dimples, Robin laughed at his father's pride. He might joke about it but it felt good to see his Dad in such good spirits. He'd been more than a little lethargic lately._

 _Reaching for another glass, Robert let out a wistful breath. "You know your mother would've been so happy to know you were going to school."_

 _"I know," Robin softly agreed, turning a little solemn._

 _His mother had died when he was ten years old. Car accident on a rainy night, there'd been no one to blame but fate. When it happened he'd felt like his whole world shattered. He'd had no idea how they were gonna make it but his father had kept things together. Made sure the house was still running, that the bar was okay and still somehow finding the time to make sure Robin knew that he could always count on him. He'd never understand how he'd been able to do all that._

 _Clearing his throat, wiped his palms against his jeans. "Speaking of Mom, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."_

 _Stifling a cough, Robert raised his eyebrows curiously. "Oh yeah?"_

 _"Yeah," said Robin. "I've been doing some thinking about me and my future and I…"_

 _He trailed off, knitting his eyebrows together curiously as his father launched into a coughing fit. "Dad are you alright?"_

 _Robert waved him off still coughing into the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm fine son. What did you want to… talk about?"_

 _He pressed for his son to continue but Robin just watched wide-eyed as his father's coughing fit grew worse, shaking his whole body, echoing through the bar. "Dad?"_

 _Still coughing and gasping for air Robert just shook his head before falling to his knees behind the bar, his mouth still smothered into the crook of his arm. In a flash Robin was out of his seat, running behind the bar to kneel at his father's side. Concern in his eyes, he rested a hand on his father's back waiting for his fit to subside._

 _"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft with fear. Kneeling next to him, he took a good look at his father face, taking in details that had previously gone unnoticed. Details like the dark circles under his eyes and the thinness of his cheeks. Rubbing his hand down his father's back he realized that his shoulders bone felt more prominent than they used to do._

 _"I'm alright Robin. I'm fine," his father said in a gravelly voice, as he lowered his arm._

 _But Robin wasn't listening to him. He was too busy staring at the crook of his father's arm. At the patches of blood that had started to sink into the fabric of his shirt. For a moment he thought his father must've cut himself on the counter. Then he realized… the blood was there because he coughed it up._

 _His father looked up at him, his blue eyes screaming with guilt and sadness._

 _Throat growing tight, Robin spoke, his voice coming out small and scared. "...Dad?"_

 _"Son there is, uh, there's something I should tell you."_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

David Nolan had loved high school.

It wasn't the best time of his life but he'd be lying if he said it hadn't ranked pretty high. He'd been captain of the football team, had dozens of friends and even met the love of his life in his freshman math class.

For all these reasons and more, he'd been psyched for the reunion. It was a chance to catch up with all his old friends and relive some of the glory days. Last night's kick-off event at the bar had been a success and he was looking forward to the women vs. men softball event taking place that day.

Of course, he couldn't say the same for his cousin Robin.

Even from across the room he'd seen what happened. Regina Mills, ghost of ex-girlfriends past, had materialized right in his cousin's face.

He had to admit he was surprised. From what he'd heard Regina had a decent life in Boston and he hadn't expected her to come back to town ever, let alone for their high school reunion. After what happened between her Robin who could blame her.

A part of him still couldn't believe that Robin had been so stupid as to let her go but it made sense.

The two of them hadn't exactly been close growing up or in high school but after his Uncle Robert sick things changed. He and his parents had done everything possible to make things easier for Robin and his father. Then when he died, they were all he had left.

It was after Robert's funeral that Robin revealed what he'd done. He'd been piss drunk that night, crying, mourning his father and wishing for the one person in the world who might've actually been able to make him feel better. Shame, he'd already pushed her away by then. When the morning came and his sobriety return David tried to convince him to go after her but Robin stone solid in his resolve. It was too late.

And he could only imagine what seeing her must've felt like the night before.

After everyone had left and the bar had closed up he'd tried to talk to him about but Robin refused. He just said things were what they were and that he didn't want to go to the softball game the next day. He'd said there was no point.

He'd still allowed them to take Roland along though.

As he and his wife, Mary-Margaret, pulled up to the softball field he smiled back at his six-year-old "nephew" in the backseat. "Alright buddy! Are you ready for the game?"

His question yielded immediate cheers from Roland and Mary-Margaret, both of them shaking the poms in their hand colored with Storybrooke team colors.

The three of them exited the car to find the softball field teeming with alumni all dressed in their high school colors. David immediately spotted a few of his old buddies stretching out on the field preparing for the game. Hand over his head, he waved to them not watching where he was going. Out of nowhere another body crashed into his.

Immediately he started to apologize profusely before realizing who he'd run into.

"Regina," he breathed, staring down at her.

"David," she mumbled looking back at him, surprised. "Um… good to see you."

He softly agreed, leaning down to give her an awkward hug hello. Releasing her, he let out a stiff breath as Mary-Margaret greeted her with an enthusiastic hello. While they shared a much more relaxed hug, David looked her over silently noting that age agreed with her. She looked different, older but even more beautiful than before. Happier even.

"So…" she ventured, gesturing toward the two of them. "I heard you guys got married. Congratulations. I'm not surprised at all."

"Nobody was," laughed Mary-Margaret, beaming up at her husband. They'd been together since freshman year and had been connected at the hip all through high school. When they'd gotten married two years after graduation all anyone had said was that "it was about damn time."

"I am surprised to see your son though. Nobody told me about that," she said smiling down at Roland, who shyly ducked behind his uncle's leg.

"Oh," mumbled David, reaching down to lift Roland up and set him on his hip. "He's not ours. He's uh…"

"He's Robin's son," Mary-Margaret stated, trying to rip off the band-aid as quickly as possible.

As soon as Robin's name was mentioned, he saw her go breathless. Her lips parting in awe, as her eyes widened taking another look at the six-year-old in his arms. He knew she was noticing the dimples in his cheeks and the curl of his hair, the only attributes his father could rightly claim.

"Oh, well, that explains why nobody told me." She tries to laugh it off but it's clear she's become uncomfortable. Possibly, even a little hurt.

As if things couldn't get more awkward, a wave of boldness suddenly strikes his nephew.

"You know my Daddy?" he asks.

Regina forces a smile to her before nodding. "I did… a long, long time ago."

The group is silent for a beat, all three of them unsure on how to proceed now that Robin's name has been mentioned. Thankfully, his wife gracefully takes the lead.

"So how have you been?" she asks Regina. "I heard you moved to Boston."

"I did," said Regina, nodding enthusiastic. "It just felt like the best place to be after I graduated college. I found a job in the city and things are going pretty well right now."

"That's good," replies David, genuinely pleased to hear that she's doing well. Knowing that she's alright helps to assuage some the vicarious guilt swelling up in his chest. "Is there anything else new going on with you?"

A smile spreads across Regina's face. "Well…"

"Mom!"

As if out of nowhere a boy runs up and joins their group. Immediately Regina wraps her arm around his shoulders. "Hey now what's the rush?"

A grin appears on Mary-Margaret's face. "Mom? Oh my god, is this your son?"

"Yes he is," said Regina, nodding her head proudly. "This is Henry."

"Oh like after your father," David says, looking down at him curiously.

Regina's son waves up at them and says hello, clearly a little bit bored. He's got the same black hair as her with a pair of round hazel eyes and an angular nose. Already reaching her hip, he's pretty tall for his age which David assumes is older than Roland. Taller than any other kid at the field, in fact.

Looking up at his mother, he asks. "Can I have five dollars for the snack bar? I want a hot dog."

"Sure I'll go with you," she says.

Henry looks up at her, an almost preteen look of annoyance on his face. "You don't have to come with me, you know. I'm nine-years-old, I can make it to the snack bar and back on my own."

Regina's jaw drops in feigned shock. "For the record mister, I am coming because I want an ice cream cone. Not everything's about you," she quips, sending a wink his way.

"Okay," laughs Henry, rolling his eyes, clearly not believing her.

Still chuckling, she pats his shoulder before turning back to her old friends. "Well I gotta go. It was good to see you guys."

"Good to see you too," David mumbled, the gears in his head slowly turning.

Watching them walk off Mary-Margaret hums thoughtfully. "They look cute together."

"Yeah they do…" he mumbled. Turning to his wife, he curiously tilts his head. "How old did Henry just say he was?"

"He said he was nine," she said nonchalantly. Her smile dips as the math suddenly hits. "Oh my god… he said he was nine."

"Nine," David repeats, feeling his heart start to race.

Their eyes widen at the same time and he knows that they've come to the same conclusion. As calmly as possible he passes Roland off to her and tells her to find a seat in the bleachers while he makes a quick phone call.

He's certain that he's never dialed a number as fast he dials Robin. After three long rings his cousin finally picks up.

"Hey Robin, look I know you didn't want to come to the game but you have to get down here…. I know that you don't want to see her but you have to…. Because she showed up here with a son and I think he might be yours."


	4. Chapter 4

**_**10 years before…**_**

 _Sitting on the bed of his truck Robin stared out at the lake, watching the moon's reflection shimmer across its surface. Three days ago he'd sat in this exact same spot feeling like the whole world was his oyster. Now his world was shattered._

 _"_ _Stage 4 lung cancer," he croaked out. "It's already in both his lungs now."_

 _"_ _Robin… I'm so sorry."_

 _He feels Regina place her arms around his shoulders pulling him closer. Sucking in a deep breath, he wills himself not to cry. He's done more than enough of that today. Hadn't been able to stop since his father had told him the truth._

 _He can't help it. He's so angry… and heartbroken. At his father for dying and keeping it from him. At the universe for daring to steal another parent from him. But also, because he knows the future he'd planned has vanished, right before his eyes._

 _"_ _There's nothing he can do? Chemo?" asks Regina, her eyes already starting to water._

 _"_ _It's too late for that," Robin replies. "All the doctors said it's basically a waiting game now so…"_

 _He hears her let out a painful sigh. Regina had always loved his father. They were always able to make each other laugh and smile. Robin was almost certain that his father loved her a little more than he loved him, not that he'd ever blame him._

 _Blowing out a shuddering breath, Robin shakes his head. "I can't leave now."_

 _He feels her go still at his side, no longer rubbing those comforting circles on his back. Turning his head, he sees her staring up at him with her big brown eyes. She presses her lips together and he knows she's trying not to cry as much as he is._

 _"_ _What about school?" she whispers, hoarsely._

 _He shrugs. "It'll just have to wait. I just can't leave him now and I can't go to school everyday wondering if when I come back…"_

 _He trails off, unable to speak when his throat goes tight at the thought of his father dying while he's miles away. That couldn't happen. He couldn't let it._

 _Regina nodded, understandingly. "It's okay, I get it. We'll just put off school for a while."_

 _"_ _We?" Robin knits his eyebrows at her, surprised. "You… you would stay with me?"_

 _Staring at her with wide eyes, his question comes out soft and hesitant. They'd spent so many nights dreaming of their future, making plans. He'd seen how hard she'd worked, late nights studying and weekends on extracurriculars. There was nothing she wanted more than to get out of this town. He knew he had to put his dreams on hold but he hadn't thought for one second that she'd be willing to stay with him._

 _"_ _Of course, I'm staying Robin," she says, pulling him closer. "Something like this… you can't go through it alone."_

 _"_ _What about Harvard?"_

 _"_ _It'll always be there," she easily replies, with a shrug. "I'll just defer a year and stay here with you. We'll take care of your dad together."_

 _"_ _You'd do that for me?"_

 _"_ _I'd do anything for you Robin, you know that," she says, reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek. "I love you."_

 _"_ _I love you too."_

 _He probably should've gone home that night. He knew his father was waiting, would probably fall asleep in the chair waiting for him to come home but he didn't want to leave the lake yet. When he did he'd have to start confronting all the problems in his future. And at that moment all he wanted to focus on was the present._

 _He spent all night in the back of his truck with his arms wrapped tight around the girl he loved, thankful that even as the rest of his world went to shit he still had her._

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Pulling up to the softball field, Robin clenched his jaw nervously.

The game was well underway by the time he parked his truck by the field. He could see throngs of his old classmates on the field and in the bleachers cheering for the players as they ran their bases. Climbing out of his car, he tried to shove down his irritation at the fact he was there. He hadn't wanted to come. Seeing Regina had been hard enough the night before, he didn't want to chance a repeat, he wasn't that much of a masochist.

He should've stayed home as planned but then David had called with his conspiracy theory. Robin rolled his eyes at the thought of it. The idea that Regina had hidden a son from him, it was ludicrous. Just the type of rumor you'd expect coming to a high school reunion, and it annoyed him to no end that he was the subject.

And yet, his cousin had seemed so adamant that he come, even leveraging Roland's pick up in his demands. David and Mary-Margaret were supposed to drop Roland off after the game was finished but now they claimed to have plans with old friends so he'd need to pick up his son at the field. It was pure manipulation and he was going to call them on it the first chance he got.

Naturally, he spotted David in the dugout waiting for his turn at bat. His cousin had been such a jock in high school, Robin had no doubt he was using this reunion to relive that glory.

Approaching the fence near the dugout, he let out a two-tone whistle attracting David's attention. The sound of a bat striking a ball rang through the air and the crowd roared in excitement as his cousin walked over to him, adjusting his baseball cap.

Robin got straight to the point. "Where's Roland?"

"In the bleachers with Mary-Margaret."

"Thanks," he replied, immediately turning around to walk away.

"Hey!" David shouted, incredulously throwing up his hands. "Are you serious?"

Robin turned back to him, annoyed. "What?"

"You're really not going to ask about the kid?"

"No David, I'm not going to ask about Regina's kid," he sighed. "Because despite what you assumed… he's not mine."

"You don't know that," said David, shaking his head.

"I do, actually," insisted Robin. "He couldn't be."

David leaned over the fence, narrowing his eyes at him. "Really? Because from what you told me he absolutely could be. I mean… she was your first right?"

Robin glared at him, irritated that he was even entertaining this conversation. Yes, Regina had been his first. He still remembered that night like it was yesterday, the two of them in the back of his truck still reeling from the news of his father's diagnosis. It was branded in his memories. He'd never forget.

"You got to admit the timing adds up," David pointed out. "The kid's nine years old, we're at a ten year reunion."

"Well maybe you misheard," said Robin, shrugging his shoulders. "Look, I'm not gonna talk about this with you anymore. He's not my kid."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know she wouldn't do that to me!" Robin snapped. "Regina wouldn't have hid that from me. She just… wouldn't have."

David stared at him, sympathetic. He remembered seeing Robin and Regina together. The love between them, the trust. If you'd have told him ten years ago that they wouldn't be together in the future he never would've believed it. Same way his cousin still couldn't believe it now.

"Maybe you're right Robin," he mumbled. "Maybe she wouldn't have hid it from you… normally. But you were going through a lot back then, with your dad and not going to school. And after all the stuff you said at graduation… would you blame her if she did hide it?"

Robin gritted his teeth, his mind going back to that fateful moment when he'd made possibly the worst decision of his life. The look in her eyes as she'd stared at him, helpless and heartbroken. He hadn't hurt someone as badly before, or ever again.

Even so… she wouldn't have hid something like this from him. She just… wouldn't.

"I've have to get Roland," he mumbled. "Good luck with your game."

He turned away, leaving his exasperated cousin at the field. God, this reunion was a nightmare. He couldn't wait until it was over.

Heading towards, the bleachers he tried to push the images of pregnant teen loves and secret children out of his head. He found Mary-Margaret cheering near the front of the crowd. When asked about Roland, she told him that he'd headed off with a new young friend to play a round of catch near the outer field.

He spotted his son just near the edge of the field just where Mary-Margaret said he was, a mitt over his hand tossing a ball between himself and an older kid.

A grin spread across Roland's face when he saw his father appear. "Daddy!"

Robin plastered on a smile for his son as he walked over. "Hey buddy! How's it going?"

"Good!" said Roland, waving his mitt. "I made a new friend!"

"Oh yeah?"

Robin eyed the older boy standing next to his son. He was tall, much taller than Roland, with floppy dark hair and hazel green eyes. He acknowledged Robin with a skeptical smile and half-hearted wave, clearly disappointed that Roland might be leaving.

"Hi there," said Robin, offering him a smile. "Who are you?"

"I'm Henry… Henry Mills."


	5. Chapter 5

**_**10 Years Before…**_**

 _"_ _You can't be serious."_

 _Mal sat on the edge of her bed, her blue eyes wide with disbelief as she watched Regina dig through her closet._

 _Regina sighed, still not turning around, unable to look her best friend in the eye. She knew that Mal would be disappointed. Harvard had been their plan, their dream for years, ever since they were kids. They were always supposed to get the best grades, earn the best scholarships and ride off to Cambridge where Regina's manipulative mother and Mal's abusive stepfather couldn't reach them anymore. Freedom through intellect. That had always been the plan… and now she was bailing._

 _Gathering her courage she finally turned around. "I'm sorry Mal… but his father's dying. What else am I supposed to do?"_

 _"_ _Tell him to wait!" Mal's blonde hair fell past her ear, as she desperately through her hands in the air. "Come to Harvard, visit on weekends, call him every day and check up…"_

 _"_ _It's not the same as being here Mal and you know it." Regina tiredly shook her head. "I can't leave him. Not now."_

 _The anger and indignation was clear on Mal's face as she crossed her arms and looked away. There was no point in arguing, she'd realized that. And years of planning had gone down the drain. Regina bit her lips before moving to sit next to her best friend. She stays silent for a moment, staring down towards the floor at her bare feet next to Mal's weathered tennis shoes._

 _"_ _Please don't be mad at me," she whispered._

 _"_ _I'm not mad," Mal replied, shaking her head. Worry was clear in her eyes as she looked over at Regina. "But what are you gonna do? Are you gonna stay in this house with your mother?"_

 _"_ _Of course not," said Regina, her eyes glancing toward the door, silently worried that her mother might be listening through the wood. "I have money saved, two grand. I'll get a place in town or stay with Robin."_

 _Mal rolled her eyes. "And do what? Go to community college and waitress on the side?"_

 _"_ _A lot of people go to community college."_

 _"_ _Not people as smart as you," Mal reminded her. "Not people who can have Harvard."_

 _Regina sighed, unable to come up with a reply. Going to that two building community college up the road had been her biggest fear for so long, it actually haunted her nightmares but now she had something scarier to worry about. Not being there for Robin when his father died._

 _"_ _You're actually gonna do this… for him?"_

 _"_ _Yeah," she breathed. "I love him. And this is what you do for people you love. You sacrifice."_

 _Mal nodded in acceptance, sighing as she leaned over to rest her chin on Regina's shoulder. "You won't leave me up there by myself for long, will you?"_

 _"_ _Of course not, we have plans," whispered Regina, leaning her head against her friend's. "I may love Robin but you and I gonna rule the world one day, and there's no one I'd rather do that with."_

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Regina adjusted her baseball cap as she stood on the bleacher, cheering for Ursula as she ran up to bat. Next to her, Mal had her hands cupped around her mouth as she shouted, encouraging the women to destroy the men on the field. The game had just entered its third inning with the boys ahead and the two of them sat in the front row of the bleachers, just like they had in high school.

Despite her reluctance to even attend this weekend, Regina had to admit that it was easier than she thought to get wrapped up in the nostalgia of it all. Especially when she heard Mal yelling with same unnecessary ferocity as she did in high school. Regina chuckled, sitting back down as her old friend ordered the women to rip the men apart before she hopped onto the diamond to do it herself.

Not many people could say they'd been friends with someone their whole life, but she and Mal were they exception. They'd met on the first day of kindergarten. A group of kids had cornered Mal, teasing her about her old, beaten clothes and cheap shoes. Regina had told them off and she and Mal had friends ever since. They were always each other's first call. When Mal realized that she was a lesbian in the eighth grade Regina had been the first one she told. And when Regina had gotten her heart broken, it was Mal who'd convinced her that she'd get past it. They'd gotten each other through everything. And they would get each other through this weekend.

Mal plopped into the seat next to her, still giggling with glee. "God, I missed going to softball games!"

"I can see that." Regina shook her head, amused. "You know I truly fear what will happen if one of your future kids is an athlete."

Grinning wickedly, Mal tilted her head in thought. "Yeah, they'll be far less embarrassed if they pick up an instrument instead."

Regina smirked at the thought of Mal whooping it up as some junior cello competition. She knew Mal had been looking into becoming a mother for a while now and personally, she couldn't be more thrilled. It was something Mal had wanted since she'd made partner at her law firm and she'd always been so good with Henry. Regina had no doubt that Mal would make an excellent mother.

"Speaking of children," said Mal. "Where's yours?"

Regina gestured toward the edge of the outfield where her son was playing catch. "He's over there. I think he's teaching Roland how to throw."

Mal narrowed her eyes, trying to get a better look at her godson and the little boy he was playing catch with. She took one look at the smaller boy's curly hair and raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "Oh… That's Robin's son?"

Regina licked her lips before nodding. "Yes. He's six."

"Cute," replied Mal. She paused before asking, "And does that mean his father is nearby?"

"No," Regina swiftly answered. "He came with David and Mary-Margaret, who are just as sickeningly in love as they were in high school, just so you know."

"Unsurprising," said Mal, with a smirk. "But it's unfortunate Robin isn't here. I thought you'd be itching to see him again after last night."

Regina bristled at her assumption. "Now why would I want to do that?"

"Because you still want to talk to him," she replied. "You still _need_ to talk to him."

"There's nothing left to say," she mumbled, shaking her head. "It's been ten years, we have both moved on."

"Have you now?" Mal rested her chin in her hand, staring at her with inquiring blue eyes. "There's no reason to talk to him at all?"

Regina glared at her but remained silent. Over the years, Mal had always insisted that what happened between her and Robin still haunted her, that she needed to confront him, let everything out, the whole truth. Until she did she'd never be able to let it go.

"What's the point, Mal?" she said, shrugging her shoulder. "Do you think after ten years, we'll just have one talk and everything will be forgiven? That all the pain from the past will wash away and I'll just fall into his arms again? I don't want to be with him anymore, Mal. And even if I did, I have a son to consider. The whole scenario isn't even worth the energy it takes to fantasize about it."

Mal sighed, straightening her back. She'd driven Regina into a rant and knew well enough not to push further. "Fine don't talk to him but for the record, I don't buy for a second that he wasn't part of the reason you came back to town."

"He wasn't," Regina said, trying to put as much conviction in her voice as possible. "I came to meet up with old friends and visit with my father. I will be perfectly happy if I go this whole weekend without seeing Robin Locksely again."

Still looking towards the outfield, a grin broke out on Mal's face as she started to laugh. Regina narrowed her eyes. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because nothing ever works out for you," she replied, pointing toward the field.

Regina followed her finger, her eyes widening when she saw Robin Locksely shaking hands with her son.

"Oh… damn it."


	6. Chapter 6

**_**10 years before…**_**

 _Shoving his hands into his pockets, Robin grasped at the ring box that had been burning a hole in his jeans for days. He restrained himself from taking another look inside for the hundredth time. There wasn't enough time before Regina came downstairs._

 _The ring he had wasn't fancy but it was special. His dad had given it to his mom when they'd gotten engaged. A simple silver band with a small diamond, inner inscription that read to my heart. His father had given it to him when he'd finally found the guts to say that he wanted to marry Regina. He'd expected his father to fight him more, but he'd just gone to his old lockbox to get the ring._

 _"_ _Girl like her deserves something pretty," he'd said. "And I doubt you'd be able to get it yourself given what I pay you."_

 _A part of Robin was sure that his father was just grateful he'd still be around to see him get engaged, possibly even married. Ever since he'd learned about the cancer, he'd started to notice just how badly his father was doing. His breathing was strained after just the tiniest bit of exertion, his chest rattled when he coughed and some days it looked painful for him just to wake up. He had no idea how he was gonna get through this. Thank god, he had Regina._

 _He hadn't been sure about her pushing back school but she'd been a godsend these past few days. Doing research on hospice care and ways to make sure his dad was comfortable. There wasn't much she could do but just being there was enough. Especially today._

 _He'd talked his dad into letting them meet up with his doctor so they could get a better idea of what was to come. Regina already had a list of questions she wanted to ask._

 _He heard the sound of her feet coming down the stairs, before the door opened and she stepped out. She smiled at him, nervously. "Hey… you ready?"_

 _He shrugged his shoulders, unsure that he could answer her honestly. "I guess so. Kind of just want it to be over with."_

 _"_ _I know," she said, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. "But it's good to have all the facts. It can be helpful."_

 _He nodded, knowing she was right. She was always right._

 _"_ _You ready?"_

 _"_ _Yeah…" she drawled, suddenly patting her pockets. "Shoot, I forgot my phone upstairs. Can you take my purse to the car, I'll be right back."_

 _He nodded, taking her bag as she ran back up the stairs. Climbing back into his truck, he tossed it onto the passenger seat - a decision that, unbeknownst to him, would shape his entire future._

 _The purse fell over the edge of the seat, spilling all its contents onto the floor below. As he leaned over the dash to pick everything up a letter caught his eye. The bright red Harvard logo on the corner piqued his interest and his gaze fell down to the words below._

 ** _"_** ** _ **To Miss Regina Mills**_**

 ** _ **We regret to inform you that your request for deferment has been denied. Should you decide not to enroll for the coming year a spot will not be held nor guaranteed for the subsequent year…"**_**

 _His heart pounded in his ears._

 _He looked at the date. She'd gotten this letter at least two days ago, hadn't said a word._

 _He couldn't believe this._

 _She was giving up Harvard… for him. Her future, her dream._

 _Reminding himself to breathe, he shoved the letter back into her purse just before she came through the door for the second time. As she climbed in the truck and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, he tried to swallowed the bile rising in the back of his throat. The letter echoed in his head the whole way to the doctors and a little bit after. The ring in his pocket suddenly felt like a brick, an anchor even._

 _He couldn't let her give up Harvard._

 _He just… couldn't._

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

It's surreal.

He's standing there on the edge of a baseball diamond with his son on his hip, looking into the eyes of a boy who might be his son. The boy reaches out to shake his hand and it's like the world comes to a standstill. He's staring. Even with the two of them being face to face, he knows he's staring but it's hard not to. It'd been so easy do deny the possibility when it'd was just a talk between him and David but now - with the actual boy in front of him - he can't stop looking at his face, searching for pieces of himself.

Stumbling over the rock lodged firmly in his throat, he finally managed to speak. "You're Regina's son?"

"Yeah, that's my mom," Henry said, beaming proudly. Looking over Robin's shoulder, he added, "Here she comes."

Swiveling his head to look behind him, Robin saw his high school girlfriend rapidly approaching. For the second time in less than thirty hours he was smacked in the face with nostalgia. She rushed toward them, the roots of her black hair tucked beneath a baseball cap the same red color of her Storybrooke High tee shirt, paired with jean shorts and old tennis shoes. The sight of her in such an outfit took him back to the years when they would come out to this very baseball diamond, screaming for Mal as she played on the softball field, sneaking underneath the bleachers for kisses. He shook the memory from his head, forcing himself to offer up an awkward wave.

"Regina… hi."

"Hi," she mumbled, sending him a forced smiled as she shoved her hands in her pocket. Two run-ins less than 48 hours. Ten years without so much as a glance and suddenly she was everywhere. "I see you've met my son."

"I have," he drawled, turning back to look at Henry. Tilting his head, he briefly wondered if his shade of hazel eyes were a match for his mother's or if he was remembering that wrong. They certainly didn't come from Regina's side that was clear. They were nowhere near the deep brown that she - along with her mother and father - carried.

Henry walked over to his mother's side and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Nodding toward Roland, she remarked, "I met your son too… he's cute."

That sparked an easy smile for him as he turned to six year-old who was brightly flashing his dimples. "Yeah… I think so."

An awkward silence fell over them as the crowd cheered in the distance. Regina looked up at him and he thought he saw something in her eyes - something like longing and hesitation. Blinking, she dropped her gaze to the ground, patting her shoulder. "Well we should get going, Grandpa's waiting and I'm sure he could use our help with dinner."

Henry twisted up his face, reluctant. "Can we stay longer? Roland said there's a lake where we could skip rocks nearby."

He saw Regina tense up before glancing back at him. She knew what lake his son meant. He knew too. It was the same lake where they'd spent nights in the back of his truck - laughing, dreaming, making memories (possibly babies). That lake was… sacred ground. At least it used to be.

"Can we go see it with Roland and Robin?" begged Henry. "It sounds cool."

Regina let out a nervous laugh, beginning to shake her head. "Um…"

"I don't mind." He cut off her refusal in its tracks.

Just twenty minutes ago, he'd been sure that if he never saw Regina again it would be for the best but now it felt like he'd do anything to keep her from leaving. Her and her son.

He shrugged. "Roland and I were about to head out anyway and we love going over to the lake. We do it all the time."

Hesitation was clear on Regina's face as she looked up at him. "I don't want to put you out…"

"You won't be," he insisted. "It'll be nice. Give us a chance to catch up."

She bit her lip before pulling a tight smile onto her face - a clear sign she was out of excuses. Helplessly raising her hands, she shrugged. "Okay… let's go to the lake."

Robin's heart pounded in his chest as the four of them headed off the field, toward a trail that would lead them to the familiar lake. Walking beside his old love, with his son in his arms and her son ahead of them he remembered what she'd said to him so many years ago.

She'd been right when she said it was good to have all the facts. And right now, Robin felt like he'd been missing out on quite a few of them.

* * *

 ** _Hope you enjoyed this chapter please leave a review if you did!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Two updates in two days! I'm even surprising myself!_**

* * *

 ** _10 years before…_**

 _Regina crept up the stairs of her front porch, trying to keep them from creaking. Their appointment with the doctors had run longer than expected so now she was late. It was barely after six but she knew if her mother caught her sneaking in late she'd be pissed - and drunk. God she didn't want to deal with that. Still, it was good that she went - even if Robin had been quieter than usual on the way back. He was probably just worried about his dad though. She couldn't blame him for that. What he'd heard at the doctor's office hadn't been pleasant._

 _Softly shutting the door behind her, she rushed past the living room, toward the stairs hoping she wouldn't be seen. Her foot was on the bottom step when she heard her mother's voice._

 _"Well, look who finally made it home."_

 _Regina scrunched her eyes closed. Judging by the lisp in her mother's words she was in for a rough ride. Turning around, she found her mother, Cora Mills, come around the corner with disdain in her eyes and a drink in her hand. Just like always._

 _Cora placed her hand on her hip. "You said you'd be home five."_

 _"Things ran late," Regina replied. "Where's Daddy?"_

 _"Working late as always. So don't expect him to rescue you," snapped Cora. She eyed Regina suspiciously. "What took so long?"_

 _"Mal and I took crack at calc again. There was stuff we didn't grasp."_

 _"Don't lie to me."_

 _"I'm not lying."_

 _"You're lying through your goddamn teeth!" said Cora, raising her voice. "You were with that boy again! Just admit it!"_

 _"So what if I was!" cried Regina, in frustration. "What is so bad about that?!"_

 _Cora groaned, shaking her head. "You're so stupid," she muttered. "You've always been so stupid." Gritting her teeth, she glared at her daughter. "Regina, what is it gonna take to knock those foolish fantasies out of your head?"_

 _"They're not fantasies," she whispered, trying not to let her mother see just how much her words hurt. "Robin loves me."_

 _Cora scoffed. "Why? Because you opened your legs for him one warm summer night?" She stepped closer to her. "Listen to your mother, dear. Robin does not love you. You are just his high school girlfriend and when the time comes… he will move on. So should you."_

 _Clenching her jaw to keep her chin from trembling, Regina took a deep breath. She tried to remind herself that harsh words were Cora's specialty. They weren't real and they didn't mean anything. Robin did love her. And they had a future together, no matter what her mother said._

 _Sticking out her chin, she defiantly replied, "You're wrong."_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking down the trail, Regina tried to keep her eyes forward, focused on Henry and the curves and turns of the path. As if she didn't already know it by heart. She watched Henry run ahead of her, hemming and hawing at all the nature and she smiled. It'd been kind of nice seeing him discover her home time. He'd been so excited to see where she'd grown up, even if she hadn't exactly been eager to return. So she kept her eyes on him… rather than on the man beside her.

She didn't even have the words to describe how it felt to see Robin Locksely again. It'd been ten years since he broke her heart. She'd gone to college, gotten a degree, had tons of relationships and experiences that had nothing at all to do with him. She had a son now, for god's sake. She should be over it, she should be over him…

… but if that was true, why was it so damn hard to be near him again?

He walked beside her just as silent as she was. From the corner of her eye she took him in. He'd looked so good in the bar the night before but, god, he looked even better now. His blue eyes were sparkling and the short locks of his blonde hair were even lighter in the sun. It brought her back to those days before he'd had the truck and they'd been stuck trekking through the forest on foot.

She shook her head, trying not to dwell in the memory.

Halfway through, Robin set Roland down on his feet and the boy took off running in Henry's direction. A chuckle fell from her lips as she watched him wince at his son flying down the trail and called after him, warningly.

He looked at her, surprised. "What?"

"Nothing." She shrugged. "It's just… you're a dad." Again, she laughs. "It's kinda surreal, considering I used to watch you cry over pokemon cards."

A blush rises in his cheeks and he chuckles to hide his embarrassment. "Only when I made a bad trade," he reminded her, thinking back to their middle school days. He'd been obsessed with those cards.

Walking along, he asked, "So… how do you like Boston?"

"It's great," she replied, nodding her head. "The city is thriving and vibrant. It's a great place to raise a kid, too."

"I bet," he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. That single action sent her heart thumping. He used to do the exact same thing when he was apprehensive in high school.

"How was Harvard?" he suddenly asked, with a nervous look in his eye. "Tough as you thought?"

"Tougher," she said. "My first year was… hell, seemed like I was leagues behind everybody. Struggling to catch up."

"But you powered through?"

"I did," she said, a proud smile appearing on her face. "And it was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done."

Transferring from Storybrooke High to an Ivy League school had been a jarring transition to say the least. In her hometown she'd been valedictorian, easily the smartest kid in every class but at Harvard she was an average fish in a big stream and she'd nearly gotten overtaken by the current. Both she and Mal had experienced their fair share of breakdowns that first year - and not just due to classwork - but once they found their rhythm things had fallen into place. She'd learned more than she ever had before, become someone she hadn't thought she could be. Going to Harvard was the second best thing she'd ever done.

"I'm glad you went," said Robin. "I know it was your dream for a long time."

"It was," she softly replied, thinking of another dream. One that had fallen through around the same time. Crossing her arms, she sighed before asking, "What about you? Did you end up going to school?"

"Eh…" Robin shrugged his shoulders. "Not four-year like I'd planned. After dad died I ended up taking some classes at the community college and I got an associate's degree in business. Not exactly a diploma but I have a framed certificate that hangs over my desk."

"That's great," she says, a genuine smile appearing on her face. She always knew he'd do well in school if he chose to.

"It's nice," he agrees, "but I'm really shooting for Roland to go further." He nods towards his son, who's pointing out his favorite spots on the trail. "School was so important to his mother, Marian."

It doesn't sting hearing Robin refer to another woman, another love even but something inside her flinches at the sound of her name. Not jealousy, exactly. An old disappointment or rejection, perhaps. She tries to push past it.

"Marian?" She tries saying the name for the first time. It feels awkward coming from her mouth. "I haven't heard much about her."

He glances at her, a mischievous look in his eye. "Oh, yeah? What have you heard?"

A blush rises in her cheeks as she averts her eyes. She hadn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she kept even minimal tabs on him but she supposed that cat was out of the bag.

Her shoulders rose, nonchalantly. "Like I said not much. Just that she was a school teacher, around our age, with dark hair." Glancing at him she hesitated before adding, "I heard that she was really pretty… and you had a beautiful wedding."

Robin scoffed, shaking his head. "Not a word about the shotgun?"

A snort comes from her before she can stop it. "There were some mentions of it but I chalked it up to small town embellishment."

"Well, this time it was the cold truth," he sheepishly mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

Robin nodded. "There was no actual shotgun but she was pregnant with Roland at the time. We'd only been together a few weeks when she found out."

"Wow," she whispered, her lips parting in shock. Thinking back to their short conversation in the bar, she remembers that he is decidedly no longer married. "So… where is she now?"

Wringing his hands, Robin paused before answering her. "Well, she died right before Roland turned two."

Her heart clenches inside her image of Robin with a two year old in his arms, standing in front of a casket enters her brain and she instantly regrets asking about Marian at all. Not married but still wearing a wedding ring? Of course, she'd died. She should've been smart enough to figure it out on her own.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers.

Robin shrugs, trying to brush off her condolences but she can see the pain in his eyes. She always could.

"It's okay," he sighs. "You know, counting the day I met her and the day she died I only had 1055 days with her. I counted. It wasn't really a long time but it was a really good one. Wouldn't take back a single day if I could."

There was pain in his smile as he spoke about her but there was love too. And surprisingly, she didn't begrudge him an ounce of it. She glad that he'd found happiness, no matter how brief. Even with everything that happened between them, she knew he deserved it.

"Wow!"

Henry's voice breaks through their conversation as they finally reach the lake.

Regina's heart stutters at the sight of it. Excluding a bush or two, it was exactly as she remembered. Sunlight was reflected in the crystal water, smooth, grey stones were scattered across the edge of the sandy banks, just before the grass started. It felt like no time had passed here at all.

But of course, that wasn't true.

"What about you?" asked Robin.

She turned to him, caught off guard. "What?"

"Do you have… a person?" he cautiously asked.

She let out a nervous breath before shaking her head. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I don't have anybody."

"You don't?" he said, sounding surprised.

"Nope," she sighed, feeling her heart go heavy. After a moment's hesitation she goes further. "Well...there was somebody…"

Robin raises his eyebrows, intrigued. "Somebody?"

"A little while back," she elaborated. "I liked him, he liked me but… I hesitated, and held back… and by the time I found the courage to be all in it was too late. He was gone."

She forces the explanation out, trying to ignore just how thick her throat feels as pushes out word after word, the dull ache of her high school heartbreak overwhelmed by the sting of her new one.

"Do you mean Henry's father?"

Her eyes immediately flicker up to his. "No," she says, swiftly shaking her head. Glancing back toward her son, she adds, "Henry doesn't exactly have one of those."

His arms go across his chest then, and he stares her down, pressing his lips together. Oh, she knows that look. He always gave it to her when he thought she was holding back, or lying. Dropping her hands to her hips, she narrows her eyes at him "What, Robin?"

He shrugged his shoulders, hesitant. "Nothing, it's just… the timing." He nervously swallows, still staring her down. "He's nine, right?"

She crosses her arms, defensively before mumbling, "Yes."

"And well… we were together around ten years ago so... I just can't help but wonder…"

He trailed off and she knew he was hoping that she would follow and not force him to say the words. Unfortunately, for him she couldn't find it in her to be that merciful.

"Wondering what, Robin?"

He took a deep breath.

"Regina, is Henry my son?"

* * *

 _ **NEXT CHAPTER: Robin learns whether or not Henry is his son? While Regina meets someone important in the past.**_

 _ **If you enjoyed this chapter please leave a review and let me know! Thanks!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: For AngstFest using prompts #2 and 7.**_

* * *

 _ **10 years before…**_

 _It was like there was a brick in his stomach. It'd formed early last night and remained inside of him all through the pictures and graduation ceremony. He'd sat there in his cap and gown listening to speeches about the future knowing that he was about to destroy his own._

 _It's for the best, he tried to remind himself. If he truly loved her… then this is what he had to do._

 _The brick in his stomach grew heavier when he saw her making her way down the trail to the lake, struggling against the loose rocks in her black heels. The zipper of her graduation gown was undone revealing the floral mini dress she wore underneath during the ceremony. Her long curls were straightened and smoothed into an elegant updo, accentuated by the drop pearl earring he knew she's gotten especially for today. She smiled brighter than the sun when she saw him and his heart dropped._

 _She looked beautiful._

" _Hey you," she drawled, hardly able to contain her excitement. "Look at us, Storybrooke High School graduates!"_

 _She leans in to wrap her arms around his neck and give him a lingering kiss, the last kiss he'd ever get from her, not that she knew that. He tried to treasure it but honestly, her lips tasted like ash and betrayal against his own. He gently pushed her away, trying to keep the heartbreak out of his eyes._

" _Regina… we need to talk."_

 _Her smile faltered at the serious tone of his voice. "What's wrong?" she asked, searching his face. "Is it your father?"_

" _Something like that." He paused, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Looking down at her, he tried to steele his resolve. This had to happen for her sake._

" _I've doing some thinking," he said. "About my dad and us… and the future. And I just don't think what we have planned really works."_

 _She shifts, uncomfortably at his words, her voice coming out small when she asks, "What do you mean?"_

" _I mean… my dad's going to need a lot of attention and most of it has to come from me," he tries to explain. "I'm his son, I have to take care of him."_

" _I know that," she says, understandingly._

" _And with how sick he's gonna be, he's gonna want a lot of space and privacy," he continues. "I just don't think he'll get any of it, if you stay and move in with us."_

 _Worry starts to dance in her brown as she looks up at him. She presses her lips together and he knows that she can see where this is headed._

 _Shaking her head, she stammers, "Well… that's okay. I mean, I don't have to live with you guys. I could stay with my parents or get an apartment on my own…"_

" _Regina...I just don't think I can do it," he mumbles._

" _Can't do what?" she whispers._

" _I can't take care of my dad… and keep pretending that I love you."_

 _He never knew it was possible to see so much emotion on one person's face. It's all so heavy, the way she goes silent, the way her eyes stay on his face in disbelief and heartbreak, tears welling up inside of them. She sucks in a sharp, tiny breath before biting down on her lip to keep from screaming. Trembling, lets out another breath shaky and fragile._

" _Why… why would you say that?" she brokenly whispers._

" _I'm sorry." He is, he is more sorry than he has ever been or will ever be in his entire life. This wasn't how this day was supposed to go. This was supposed to be the day they got engaged, this moment was supposed to be happy and joyous, memorable for all the best reasons, not the worst ones. This wasn't how this day was supposed to be._

" _ **I never meant to hurt you**_ _," he mumbles, unable to look her in the eye. "I just… I thought it was better to tell you now."_

 _Tears had started to stream down her face, as a hurt sound escaped from her lips. "You said you loved me," she softly cried._

 _It takes everything in him not to cry because he does love her. More than she knows, more than he can let her know right now. His heart is breaking at the thought of a future without her but he can't be the thing that holds her back. He just can't._

 _This is the only way that she can have her dream. Without him._

 _She starts to break at his prolonged silence. "Just… go Robin._ _ **Leave me alone**_ _, please."_

 _He wants to take it all back. Wants to pull her into her arms, whisper that of course he loves her, doesn't know if he could ever learn to stop but he can't. She has to go to Harvard. She has to get out of this town, away from its limits, away from her mother. He can't stand in the way of that._

 _So he doesn't. Lump still in his throat, he does as she asks and leaves. Out of the corner of his eye he sees her sink to her knees near the bottom of the tree, her hands covering her mouth to stifle her cries. Every step he takes away from her sinks him further into regret._

 _By the time he gets into his car he's already started to wonder… did he just make the biggest mistake of his life?_

 _ **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

There's only been one other time in his life where he's felt like a bigger jackass than he does right now. It was in the exact same spot on graduation day, the day he broke her heart. He remembers it like it was yesterday. Standing under this same tree, obliterating any chance of a future with the girl he loved, the girl who stood in front of him now with crossed arms and pulled together eyebrows.

He never would've thought that ten years after that fateful day, he'd be standing in the exact same spot asking her if the boy she showed up with was his son. It would be life's cruelest trick if she said yes. A perfect show of karma for what he'd done and said to her… but apparently, life wasn't that poetic.

"Robin... no."

His eyebrows shoot up to the top of his head. "No?"

"No," she laughs, staring at him with incredulous eyes. "Are you serious?"

He helplessly shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know," he stressed, embarrassment starting to burn in his cheeks. "I mean you showed up with a kid and all the timing worked out, and David got in my head."

God, the next time he saw his cousin he was getting a punch straight to the gut.

Luckily, Regina only chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, sorry to disappoint you and the rumor mill but Henry isn't your son. I adopted him."

"Oh…" His reply comes out softer than he intended. "Really?"

"Yeah," she sighs, turning to beam in the direction of her son, who's tossing rocks into the lake, trying to make them skip. "Paperwork was finalized about a week ago, so this is kind of a celebration trip for the two of us."

"That's… amazing." A smile breaks out on his face at her news. He always knew she'd make an incredible mother. "Your father must be over the moon."

"He is quite ecstatic," she replies with a grin. "He's always wanted a namesake, and he's finally got one." She tilts her head, wistfully. "It's just a nice reminder that everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff."

Right, the bad stuff... like him.

For ten years he'd wondered if he'd made the right choice, breaking up with her on graduation day. He'd spent so many nights lying awake, thinking about her and what he'd given up. And for the first time since that day, it feels like he finally has a definitive answer. It had been for the best. She had her son and he had his. She'd achieved her goals and found happiness, maybe not with him but with herself. Seeing her now, happy, successful, a mother… he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. What he'd done was for the best, even if it had hurt them both at the time.

Maybe that's why he'd finally felt brave enough to apologize for it.

"You know… I'm sorry." Her eyes flicker up to his. "About graduation," he says. "I shouldn't have broken up with you like that. You deserved better than that, better than me…"

The light in her eyes dims at his apology and he can see her gulp, swallowing her feelings. "It's okay," she mumbles. "You were just being honest."

Talking about that day has sent her walls up he can see that. Her gaze has averted from him, and her fingers grip into her arms as she tries to downplay her own pain. It's a familiar picture for him. Even after ten years.

"I mean… what did we expect?" She shrugged. "We were eighteen in high school. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not like you were gonna marry me or anything like that."

His heart clenches at her last sentence. It stings hearing her dismiss the idea of their marriage but how could she know what he'd been planning? It's not like he'd ever told her.

"What we had was...sweet," she mumbled, still keeping up her facade. "But it wasn't meant to last. It wasn't meant to be… significant, obviously."

"You have always been significant to me Regina," he says. "That much has always been true."

Sincerity drips from his words, cutting off her dismissal of their relationship. She looks up at him with surprise in her eyes, caught off guard by the depth of his honesty. He tries not to be hurt at the shock in her eyes, knowing damn well it was his own decision to put it there. He'd been the one to say he didn't love her. It shouldn't surprise him that she still believes that. Maybe it'd been for the best back then but he can't let her go on still thinking that she meant nothing. Because in truth she'd meant everything.

Silent once again, she searches his face for a hint of insincerity, swallowing hard when she finds none.

"I should go," she finally whispers. "My dad is waiting for us back at the house."

Everything in his soul is reaching out for her, screaming at him to beg her not to leave. But just like that day ten years ago, he doesn't listen to it. He just watches as she gathers her son and heads for the trail, only managing to send him one last glance before she walks off.

 _ **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

 _ **10 years before...**_

 _She didn't know how long she sat beneath that tree, feeling numb and heartbroken._

 _Her mother had been right. Robin didn't love her. He never did._

 _Once again her eyes landed on the graduation ring on her right hand, the one he'd given to her. Pain sliced through her as she thought back to that night, the way he'd managed to sound so in love with her, to make her think that they'd had a future together. Had he been lying the whole time?_

 _She was surprised when her friends showed up, nearly forgetting that she'd texted them in her tear-filled haze. The minute they saw her, they rushed to wrap her arms around her as she cried, listening when she explained what happened. By the time she finished she was staring into three pairs of eyes all filled with the same burning fury._

" _That bastard," gritted out Ursula. "How dare he do this to you?"_

 _She paced in front of the tree with her hands on her hips, already forming a plan to ruin Robin's life. "After all that you've done for him…"_

" _Doesn't make any sense," added Carlotta, before taking another swig from the flask she'd hidden in her gown. "It's not like he can ever hope to do better than you."_

 _She'd offered Regina a drink more than once but she'd refused, still sitting on the roots of the tree, her chin in her hands and her eyes still burning from the tears as Mal comfortingly rubbed her back._

" _We should drive his stupid truck into the lake," growled Ursula, clearly out for revenge._

 _Regina subtly sucked in a breath, fighting the instinct to scream no, Robin needed his car for work and doctor's appointments. God, why does she still care about him? She doesn't want to care. She shouldn't._

" _We're not gonna drive his truck into the lake," Mal calmly insisted. "It's like my grandmother used to say. 'The best revenge is a life well-lived.'"_

 _Carlotta rolled her eyes. "No, the best revenge is a well-paid hitman."_

 _Mal ignored her, looking to Regina instead. "Look I know this sucks but you still have options. This means you can go to Harvard, become a lawyer just like you planned."_

 _Regina's bottom lip started to tremble and she pushed them together, as she shook her head. "I can't go to Harvard," she brokenly whispered._

" _Of course you can," Mal insisted. "I saw the deadline. You can cancel your deferment, take your spot back."_

" _It's not about the deadline Mal!" She sighed, turning to her with sad eyes. "I'm pregnant."_

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter please leave a review if you did!** _


	9. Chapter 9

_**10 years before…**_

 _The seven days after graduation were the second saddest days of Regina's life. It was like the moment Robin walked away from he'd decided to take her heart, energy and self-worth with her._

 _Months before, she and the girls had planned to spend graduation night drinking and celebrating with their classmates at the after parties. But with Robin's decision and her subsequent news, plans were swiftly changed. Regina couldn't imagine heading back into town and possibly facing him again, so her friends leapt into action whisking her away to a cabin in the woods._

 _When they got there she went to bed and stayed for there five days. Burying herself under the blankets, she alternated between crying her eyes out, sleeping and occasionally allowing her friends to make sure she ate. All she could think about was how sharply her prospects had fallen. Three weeks ago, she'd been Harvard-bound and in love. Now she was just a pregnant teen who'd just been dumped by a boy who'd only pretended to love her. A high-school valedictorian with no future at all._

 _Isolated in that bed, she'd never felt more alone… though she supposed that wasn't entirely true. She did have a baby inside her, after all._

 _God, she'd only found out two days before graduation. The pregnancy test was meant to settle her nerves. Her period hadn't shown up in a while but that wasn't unusual for her and she and Robin had always been safe. Even with all the evidence building up she'd never expected the plus sign to actually show up. The sight of it knocked the air out of her lungs._

 _She spent two days trying to figure out how to tell Robin but then he'd crushed her heart like a bug on a sidewalk. The thought of telling him now just felt painful._

 _It was early in the morning when she finally decided to leave the room. Still in her pajamas, her hair still mussed from her pillows she got out of bed and headed straight for the porch. When they'd first arrived at the cabin she'd noticed a porch swing. It seemed like a nice place to start reacquainting herself with the world. Watching the sunrise, she left herself swing gently back and forth using the tips of her toes, allowing the numbness inside of her to slowly fade away._

 _What the hell am I gonna do now?_

 _Her friends woke up and joined her an hour later. Still dressed in their pajamas, they poked their heads through the front door regarding her, cautiously._

" _Well… look how finally got out of bed," observed Mal, sitting next to her on the swing._

 _Regina shrugged. "Wallowing started to get monotonous," she mumbled._

 _Arm in arm, Ursula and Carlotta went to lean against the railing across from her, both of their eyes sympathetic._

" _It's nice to see you up," said Carlotta. "For a second, I was worried you'd die in that bed."_

 _Pretty sure I did, she thought to herself._

 _Sighing, Regina nodded at Carlotta. "Thanks for letting me stay here, by the way. Are you sure your mom won't mind?"_

 _Carlotta rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh please, she hasn't been here since husband number two."_

 _Which was three husbands ago, as Regina recalled. Taking another deep breath, she tried not to drown under the weight of all their concern. Her friends were clearly worried about her. Why else would they be looking at her like a ticking time bomb?_

" _How are you feeling?" asked Ursula._

 _Regina leaned back in her seat, feeling her face grow hot. "I am feeling… like an idiot."_

 _Immediately, a trio of dissenting voices arose but she shook her head at them. "I can't believe this happened to me. I mean… I worked so hard. I studied, I volunteered, I was valedictorian, I was… the best girlfriend I could be and… now I've got nothing." Her voice broke as tears started to stream down her face. "I worked so hard to get out of here… and now I'm just gonna be another teen mom who's gonna die in the same small town she was born in. I'm a fucking cliche, just like Cora said I would be."_

 _Mal immediately wrapped her arms around her, comfortingly pulling her closer. "Okay, first of all fuck your mother."_

" _Sideways," added Ursula._

" _With a rusty chainsaw," finished Carlotta._

" _Secondly," continued Mal, "You don't have nothing. You have us. We're your friends we're gonna help you get through this."_

 _Wiping tears from her face, Regina shook her head. "I'm eighteen years-old and pregnant Mal. How am I supposed to get through that?"_

 _Ursula smiled at her. "Well, I'm glad you asked." She nodded at Mal, who immediately ran back into the house. Taking her seat next to Regina, Ursula continued on. "While you were drowning in your sorrows, the girls and I were brainstorming about your future."_

 _Mal returned with an open laptop, that she handed to Regina. "We thought this would be a good place for you to start."_

 _Skeptical, Regina looked at the screen and saw it was pre-written email addressed to the head of admissions at Harvard. Skimming the details, she knew it was meant to be from her, claiming her spot at Harvard for the upcoming year._

 _Letting out a deep breath, she rolled her eyes. "Guys that is sweet but… I can't go to Harvard. Not like this, not… pregnant."_

" _Why the hell not?" demanded Ursula. "If my mother could spend all day on her feet, running my family's restaurant while pregnant with my sisters, what's stopping you from sitting in a classroom and learning?"_

 _Carlotta nodded her head in agreement. "Plus we checked and there are resources for girls in your situation. School doctors and student health insurance."_

" _And what about when the baby comes?" stressed Regina. "It's not like I can just pack it up and take it to class with me."_

" _We'll figure something out," argued Mal. "Don't forget I'll be there too."_

 _Regina pressed her lips together, uncertain. "I don't know you guys. It's just… not what I pictured. Being the pregnant girl on campus."_

" _Would you prefer to be the pregnant girl at home?" said Carlotta, arching an eyebrow at her._

" _No," mumbled Regina. "I just…"_

 _She trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence. It seemed like it would be a nightmare. Going to college pregnant, dealing with all the stares and whispers. She wanted Harvard but did she really want it that way?_

 _Mal tilted her head, growing impatient with her indecisiveness. "Alright listen, do you want to have this baby?"_

 _Regina shrugged her shoulders. "I… I don't know."_

" _Do you want to tell Robin about it?"_

 _Balling her hands up, she shook her head. "I'm not sure yet."_

" _Do you want to raise it, give it away, not have it all?"_

" _I haven't decided yet!" stressed Regina, raising her voice._

 _Mal stared at her, intently, for a beat. "Do you want to go to Harvard?"_

" _Yes." Her answer came out in a small, wistful whisper. Yes, she wanted to go Harvard. Yes, she wanted to go to law school. Yes, she wanted to get the hell out of this town and learn from the best minds in the world. That is what she wanted. More than anything._

" _Then go," Mal ordered. "You can go. It is something you want, something you deserve to have. Yes it'll be harder for you, and maybe more awkward than you thought it would be but this is one part of your future that he has not shattered. It's still there. You just have to let yourself have it."_

 _Ursula squeezed her shoulder. "Regina… you can do this. You can go to Harvard."_

 _Torn inside, Regina thought of the school she'd always dreamed of and the baby growing inside of her. For the past week, she'd been thinking of them as two seperate possibilities, two futures that could never mix. Perhaps she was wrong about that. Sitting on the porch swing, surrounded by her friends' encouragement, she started to wonder… what if I could have both?_

 _Swallowing her doubts, she read through the email and clicked send. It was official… she was going to Harvard._

 _Once the email was sent she felt the tension in her stomach, loosen just a bit. She was still going to school and that was important. However, there were still other things to consider. What she going to do about the baby? Would she ever tell Robin? How was she going to tell her parents?_

 _Oh god… how was she going to tell her parents?_

Growing up Regina knew that she had one of the best fathers in town. She also knew that when it came to mothers she'd certainly drawn the short stick.

Henry and Cora Mills were a mismatched pair and everyone knew it. Her father was hard working, humble and sweet. Her mother… was not.

Though Regina supposed that was unfair. Her mother was always sniping about how hard it was to be her. To be married to a man who worked so much but only brought home so little. To be stuck as a housewife in a small town. To look around at your life and see that everything had fallen short of your dreams and expectations, including your spouse and child. Her mother had truly been a rose dying on the vine. At least that's how she'd seen herself. Other simply saw her as a mean-spirited alcoholic. Regina included.

She didn't shed a single tear when she learned that her mother had run off with an old rich flame, leaving in broad daylight during her sophomore year of college. If anything she only felt sad for her father, who appeared as though he was half of a man when he'd showed up to tell her the news. Nearly 25 years of marriage and it all took was the promise of New York penthouse and limitless credit cards for her mother to throw it all away.

Her father had been shattered. For all her mother's faults - and there were many- he had loved her. And she, more than anyone, knew how badly it hurt to love someone who had never felt the same.

It took time but eventually her father got past it all, just as she did. She'd never seen him happier than he was these past few years. Her father seemed lighter and unburdened. His confidence had rebounded in spades and he'd even gone on a few dates here and there. Nothing special, he always said, but good enough.

And of course, he loved Henry.

Nothing made Henry Sr. happier than spending time with his grandson. Being a grandfather had revived a bit of his youth, and he'd practically danced a jig when he heard the two of them were coming down for the reunion. Ever since they'd arrived he'd been showering them with attention, cooking for them every meal and listening to their tales of the reunion.

Returning from her trip to the lake with Robin and his son, Regina decided that today was one story she'd be better off keeping to herself. After her pregnancy her father made no secret of his disdain for the boy who'd once broken her heart. She didn't want to ruin his good mood by mentioning that she'd talked to him.

Of course, things would've worked out better if she'd told her son about this decision.

It was a few hours after they returned, Henry and her father were playing checkers as he rambled on about the baseball game. Her father was mid-move when Henry dropped Robin's name. The smack of that red checker was the last thing she heard before her father turned his inquisitive brown eyes at her, while still talking to Henry.

"Oh… you met Robin today?"

Henry nodded his head, unaware of all the rising tension, still focusing on what move to make next. "Yep. He and mom were old friends."

"Oh, I'm aware," her father mumbled, narrowing his eyes at her from across the room. She squirmed under his gaze, kicking herself for not warning her son in the first place.

"He and his son showed us the lake," chirped Henry. "And I tried to skip rocks but I wasn't good at it."

Henry Sr. finally turned his attention back to his grandson, letting out a soft chuckle. "Oh that's alright. It takes a lot of practice to learn how to skip rocks. Next time you visit, I'll take you out and teach you."

"Cool!" said Henry, finally making his move.

Two minutes later, her father abruptly ended their game, claiming that it was time to cook dinner. Regina sighed as she watched him walk away. Twenty-eight years-old but she was still unable to handle her father's disappointment.

She follows him into the kitchen, her shoulders feeling heavy when she finds him pulling down spices for dinner. Judging by the spices, it looks like chili for tonight.

"Daddy," she drawls, approaching him by the counter. "Don't be mad."

"Why would I be mad?" he says, shrugging his shoulders.

She sighs. "I only saw him for a second Daddy. We just talked and caught up on a few things."

He eyes her suspiciously. "Things like what?"

"Nothing big," she mumbled. "Just things like his wife and his son."

Her father grumbled, turning his attention back to the spice. "Yeah, I remember when she died. He walked around in a haze for months. It was sad." He paused, twisting the cap off an old jar of cinnamon, sighing deeply when it finally came off. Looking at her with hesitant eyes, he nodded toward the kitchen table. "Sit down sweetheart."

Regina subtly gulped, taking a seat. They always had serious talks at the kitchen table.

Her father joined her, softly groaning as he lowered himself into a chair across from hers. Once seated, he stared at her with understanding eyes. "Regina… I'm not mad that you saw Robin."

She raised her eyebrows. "You're not?"

"No," he says, shaking his head. "But I am a little disappointed, frankly."

Confusion plays out on her face. "Disappointed how?"

He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, I just… when you said you were coming back here I knew you would probably see him and I thought that meant that you were finally ready to tell him everything."

Regina bit her lip as her heart clenched in her chest. "Daddy… all of that is in the past, there's no point in telling him now. I'm over it."

Henry shook his head. "Honey, we both know that's not true. Just because you bury the things that hurt you doesn't mean they didn't happen. You're not over it, baby, your carrying it. On your back and in your heart."

She presses her lips together, shaking her head. "That's not true," she denies. "I've moved on. I have Henry, I have my job and good friends. I have a good life."

"I never said you didn't," her father immediately replied. "You've done so much better than I ever could. You've gone so much farther than you dreamed but… I don't know, ever since your pregnancy it's like you've held back a piece of yourself every new person that comes along. Maybe that's why you and Daniel never-"

"Daddy please!" she hissed, shutting him down. "Don't."

He grabbed her hand, sympathetic. "Regina… it has been six months since he died and you still can't hear his name."

Regret swells up inside of her at the thought of Daniel, the first man she'd truly had feelings for since Robin. He'd wanted to be with her, he wanted to make her happy but by the time she was willing to give him a real chance… he'd already been taken from her. Thinking of him along with Robin and all the pain surrounding their relationship, it was just too much.

"I know opening yourself up to love and pain is hard," he said, "But maybe it'll be easier if you actually told Robin how much you went through after the two of you broke up. Maybe then you can finally let it all go."

Regina sniffed. "I disagree," she stubbornly replied.

Her father sighed, dropping his gaze downward. "I just don't want you to give up on love because of your experiences and the bad example I set for you."

"Daddy," she says, her voice growing tender, "You didn't set a bad example for me. Every man that comes into my life is measured against you."

That manages to earn her sad smile.

"And I haven't given up on love," she said. "The love of my life is in the living room playing checkers, remember?"

Her father nods his head concedingly. "I know how much it means for you to have him. Just remember that it's okay for you to have someone else too."

He presses a kiss to her forehead before going back to cook dinner. Staying at the kitchen table, Regina thought over their conversation, visions of Robin in the past and in the present dancing around in her head, knowing that she'd never tell him the truth.

She couldn't.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review if you did!** _


	10. Chapter 10

_**10 years before…**_

 _Sitting on his bed, Robin tried to settle the lurches of his stomach as he scrolled through Regina's MySpace page. It'd been more than three months since graduation, the day he'd last seen her. He'd expected to run into her around town, maybe get an angry phone call or two, but she might as well have been a ghost. He hadn't seen her at all. After checking the Harvard academic calendar, he knew that school had started a week ago and the word had gone through town that she'd decided to go after all, just like he'd hoped. It was pathetic to be monitoring her MySpace page, he knew that, but… he just wanted to see her face. Even if it was just through a screen._

 _He thought maybe he'd get a glimpse of where she'd been all summer, see some pictures of her on move-in day… see her smile. Imagine his disappointment when all he saw were the same pictures of her from graduation. They'd been sitting at the top of her profile for the whole summer._

 _It was torture._

 _Tossing his laptop aside, he got up from his bed. He had more urgent things to do than think about Regina (not that he would ever stop). Grabbing a throw blanket from the living room, he headed outside and saw his father sitting on the front steps of the porch, looking out at the lawn with a blank stare. He'd gotten much worse since graduation. His clothes hung loser, his skin was ashen and the dark circles under his eyes grew more defined every day. Robin knew his father looked downright sickly but even still the sight of him on the front porch was a familiar sight._

 _The porch had always been his father's thinking place, or rather his parent's. When his mother was alive she and his father would have all their big hushed talks there. It was the place where they talked out problems and his father continued to the trend long after she died. Growing up Robin would catch him sitting there at night, more often than not with a cigarette in hand, thinking about things that Robin knew he probably couldn't understand._

 _Joining him on the steps, Robin placed the blanket over his father's shoulders. "Cold?"_

" _A little," sighed his father. Pulling it closer around himself, he grumbled, "You know when you do stuff like this it makes me feel like an old lady?"_

" _Then you're gonna hate it when I start helping you across the street," replied Robin, sitting next to him on the steps. "What are you thinking about?"_

" _Oh the usual," said his father. He smiled at his son. "You."_

 _Robin raised his eyebrows. "Me? I'm fine Dad."_

" _No you aren't." He covered his mouth to stifle a cough. "You forget I raised you. I know when you're sad." He sighed, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "You miss Regina."_

 _Hanging his head, Robin sucked in a sharp breath. He did miss her. He missed her more than he'd ever missed anyone, save his mother. At first he'd hoped that maybe his feelings would fade away, that they'd grow lesser over time until he no longer noticed them but that wasn't the case. The more he tried to let his feelings go the more they dug into his heart. Every day he grew more and more certain that he would always love Regina Mills._

" _What happened between you two?"_

 _Robin sighed. "I told you. We decided to end it."_

" _I'm a dying man, son. Don't bullshit me." Robin glared at him but Robert held firm. "Tell me the truth. What happened?"_

 _For a brief second he considered lying again but deep down Robin knew he'd already done enough of that. Lifting his head, he let out a deep breath. "I chose to end it. Not her. It was all me."_

" _You?" Robert twisted his face in confusion. "Why the hell would you do that?"_

" _Because it was a choice between me or Harvard," he whispered, shrugging his shoulders. "And she would've chosen wrong."_

 _Robert nodded understandingly, clearing his throat. "So… you made the choice for her."_

" _What else was I supposed to do?" asked Robin. "It was her dream and she was never gonna get another chance at it. I couldn't let her give it up."_

 _Gripping his son's shoulders, Robert groaned. "And what about you Robin? What about your dreams?"_

 _Robin shrugged. "I don't know, I guess I'll figure it out."_

 _They sat together in silence for a moment, looking out on the yard, both of them thinking of the past and the future. Finally Robert spoke again. "You think you've got all the time in the world, Robin… you're wrong."_

" _Dad…"_

" _Let me finish," he ordered, his voice turning hoarse. "You always think you'll get another chance, that there'll come a time when you can right wrongs and set things right but that's just not true. Time is too steady and too fast to pass on the things that make you happy. Before you know it you'll be an old man sitting on your porch thinking of all the things you could've done better."_

 _Robin sighed, letting his father's words sink in. "What am I supposed to do Dad? She's already gone."_

" _Gone but not lost," he replied. "You know where she is, go to her, see if you can work things out."_

 _Robin shook his head. "Doubt she'd be happy to see me. Besides I want to stick around here for awhile."_

 _Robert gave him a long hard look before rolling his eyes with a sigh. "Fine, I tried but just know… that I only wanted you to be happy Robin."_

" _I know that Dad."_

" _I mean it," he said, smiling. "You know when I sit here and think of all things in my life that I did right, you're always at the top of the list. There's nothing I did better than you."_

 _His hand shook as he reached up run his fingers over his son's hair. "Just don't let the next opportunity pass you by, okay son?"_

" _Okay, I promise."_

 ** _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**

Robin's father died eight months after he graduated high school. His passing was slow and quiet, lit by the muted, florescent lights of his hospital room and the only person present was his son, who stayed by his side until his last breath. Watching his father wither away was the hardest thing he'd ever done but even after he was gone Robin never stopped feeling connected to him. He still lived in the house where he grew up, he owned the bar his father had opened and all through his adult life his voice had remained in the back of his head. Every time a decision came along, big or small, he would think back to tiny bits of advice and wisdom his father had offered in the past. But some pieces of his wisdom were harder to listen to than others.

Even now as he stood behind the bar counter wiping down glasses, he could hear his father's voice had been roaring in the back of his head, reminding him of the promise he'd once made. Regina was back in town and he finally had a chance to make things right, to come clean. But how could he? It'd been ten years. Was it even worth it now?

He ducked behind the counter for another tray of glasses, his thoughts so heavy with the possibility for second chances that he didn't hear the bell above the door ring.

"Is 10:30 to early to ask for a drink?"

Raising his head above the counter, Robin chuckled when he saw Mal walking over to the bar. "Depends on the kind of morning you've had."

He'd been wondering if she'd speak to him during the reunion. It hadn't escaped his notice that when he'd given up Regina, he gave up Mal too. Even though Regina was clearly their common thread, he and Mal had been pretty close in school, too. They'd spent lunch times eating under the bleachers, she was the only reason he'd passed math in freshman year, and they shared a certain streak of humor that others didn't usually get. He'd missed her after graduation. Though, she didn't appear to feel the same given the look on her face when she sat down.

"What are you doing here, Mal?"

She shrugged, keeping her ice blue eyes on him. "It's our ten-year reunion Robin. I'm supposed to visit all my old friends."

Raising an eyebrow, Robin tilted his head. "I'm still on that list?"

"Third from the bottom but yeah, you're still on there," replied Mal, a slick smile pulling on her lips.

He rolled his eyes, covering up his relief. "I'm guessing it's a little too early for your usual bourbon?"

"I suppose I'll settle for a root beer," she sighed. Eyeing him as he moved behind the counter, she asked, "How are you?"

"Surviving," he replied with a shrug. "What about you? I'm surprised you came back town, I figured it might be hard for you."

"You mean because this whole town was the metaphorical closet in which I hid my sexuality?"

Setting a root beer down in front of her, he nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."

Mal sucked her teeth. "Yeah that was rough but I figured that was the whole reason I should come back." She took a sip of her drink. "I mean, isn't the point of this reunion? To face confront old demons and bullies, show how you've changed?"

"I guess," mumbled Robin, resuming his chores. "But maybe some things are better off buried. Dredging up the past… it's not always worth it."

"Maybe," she softly replied. Leaning her elbows against the counter, she studies him carefully. "You know, it's been weird seeing everyone again. I used to spend so much time watching everyone in school. It was easier to think about them and their relationships and failings than my own. Coming back to this reunion what I've noticed the most is how differently people look at each other."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, old friends who barely look at each other," she elaborated. "People who don't cower under old bullies. But then there are some things that don't change… like you."

Robin turned to her, confused. "Me?"

"Yeah… you and Regina," she said. "After all these years… you still look at her the same way."

Robin's throat grew dry as he tried not to look her in the eye. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Mal chuckled, shaking her head. "You made me your third wheel so many times the googly eyes you made at each other are etched in my memory. That's why I could never wrap my head around the idea that you never loved her. People who only tolerate each other don't look at each other the way you looked at her."

Leaning against the counter, Robin stared her down, trying not to let his true feelings show. "What are you saying Mal?"

"I'm saying that I have always found it extremely convenient that you broke her heart in time for her to enroll in Harvard," she said. "No dragging it out or waiting for a better time. It was almost like you had a deadline."

He didn't say a word, just stayed silent. Of course, for Mal, his silence held all the answers she'd been looking for.

Closing her eyes, she let out a huff. "You… dumb son of a bitch."

"I… I thought it was best," Robin mumbled under his breath. "I knew how much she wanted Harvard but I knew if it was a choice between Harvard and me… she'd choose wrong."

"You didn't know that," argued Mal, shaking her head. "You didn't know anything. You have no idea what you put her through, how much pain you caused her." She pressed her lips together. "You have to tell her the truth."

"Why?" stressed Robin. "What good would it do for her to know the truth?"

Mal stared at him for a second before scoffing and sliding off her stool. "God, nothing has changed in this town. It's still slathered in secrets, just like it used to be."

Still shaking her head, she headed for the door, Robin watching her as she went.

He called after her. "Give me one good reason why I should tell her the truth!"

"Because she deserves it!" Mal shot back. After a moment, she softens. "And honestly, so do you."

The bell above the door chimes as she heads back out onto the street, leaving Robin to ponder the meaning of her last sentence.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review if you did!** _


	11. Chapter 11

_**A year and a half year before…**_

 _Sitting behind the desk in her new office, 26-year-old Regina Mills thought of all the things she had in her life. She'd just gotten promoted to junior partner at her law firm. Three months ago she'd signed the lease to an amazing two bedroom apartment downtown and in two weeks she'd have her 27th birthday. Mal had already spilled the beans that Ursula and Carlotta were flying in for the weekend. Some days it felt like she had absolutely everything… but other days it was painfully clear that she didn't._

" _I'm sorry Regina."_

 _She looked up from her desk, into the apologetic blue eyes of her social worker, Daniel Colter. His tone was regretful as he informed her that the pregnant teen she'd met the week before hadn't chosen her to adopt her baby._

" _She thought you were amazing," he insisted. "She just thought…"_

" _That some other family was better," she finished, disappointed. Sucking in a sharp breath, she straightened her back and forced her lips into a smile. "No it's fine, I understand. I'd be a young single mother… it's a tough sell."_

 _Daniel tilted his head at her, curiosity in his eyes. He'd known her for a few months now and Regina knew that had more than a few questions about her. Ones that couldn't be answered by flipping through her file. Leaning back in his seat he studied her face. "Regina?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _If you don't mind me asking, why are you taking this route?" he asked. "Every parent I come across will launch, unprompted, into an essay of why they want to take a child in. Tell me tales of fertility troubles, personal reasons why they want to adopt. You haven't done that and it's left me wondering why a woman so young and successful, would choose to do something so difficult when there are easier ways to get what she wants."_

 _Regina kept a smile on her face but dropped her eyes to her desk to avoid his gaze. She liked Daniel, perhaps more than she'd allow him to know but that didn't mean she was willing to share with him the pain of her past. After all, how do you talk to a virtual stranger about feeling someone grow beneath your skin, wondering what they'll look like, who they'll grow into? How do you explain the devastating realization that knowing that person and watching them grow wasn't in their best interest or yours? And the absolute reluctance to relive the beginning of that story even when you know the ending might be completely different?_

 _Instead she just smiled and shook her head. "I don't know. I've just had this feeling deep inside that the child I'm meant to have isn't supposed to come from me. I'm not meant to make them, I'm meant to find them. And I will, I just have to be patient."_

 _Daniel nodded, acceptingly. Finally, he had an answer that made sense._

" _I understand," he said. "And you're right you will find them. I will help you find the baby that's meant to be your child."_

" _Thank you," she softly replied._

 _A few seconds later her secretary knocked on the door. "Excuse me Mr. Colter but I think your guest is growing a little impatient."_

 _Before she even finished her sentence a small boy with brown floppy hair and hazel eyes snuck in from behind her. Walking up to Daniel's chair he asked, impatiently, "How much longer are we gonna stay here?"_

" _Not much longer," sighed Daniel, pulling his lips into a reassuring smile. "Just give me a few more minutes with Miss Mills and we'll be on our way. Okay, Henry?"_

 _The young boy frowned. "I'm hungry."_

" _You know if you want I'm sure there's a tray of cookies in the breakroom," chimed in Regina._

 _It was then that the boy looked at her. She looked into his hazel eyes and something inside her shifted, like her heart was tugged right in his direction._

" _Are they chocolate chip?" he softly asked._

 _Regina smiled. "Every single one."_

 _Pressing his lips together, he looked to Daniel for permission. Daniel nodded. "Go ahead."_

 _Watching him walk toward the door, Regina called out, "What was your name again?"_

 _He turned back to her. "Henry."_

 _She let out a small breath, as her smiled widened. "That's my dad's name."_

 _Henry just shrugged, clearly more focused on cookies. "Cool."_

 _As he walked out her door, led to the breakroom by her assistant, Regina watched him go, unable to tear her eyes away from him. "Um… do you often bring your wards on business?"_

 _Daniel shook his head, chuckling a little. "Henry's a special case."_

" _Oh?" Regina raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "How so?"_

" _Well, Henry was one of my first cases actually," he elaborated. "I placed him in a home a few days after he was born but the parents died in an accident two years later. "_

" _Really?" breathed Regina. "Why hasn't anyone adopted him yet?"_

 _Daniel shrugs, helplessly blowing out a frustrated breath. "It's been five years and I must've placed him a dozen homes since then hoping lightning would strike twice but there's always something. Loss of income, divorces… it just never works out for him."_

" _That's awful," whispered Regina, her heart aching for him._

" _You know the worst part is I think he's losing hope," lamented Daniel. "I told him I have to take him to a new group home today and he didn't even flinch. It was like he expected it."_

 _Regina pressed her lips together. Through her office door, she could see Henry in the breakroom eating a chocolate chip cookie. A spot of chocolate had gotten stuck to the side of his lips and he was trying to lick it away as her assistant laughed. It blew her mind that there was no one out there for him. Or perhaps there was?_

 _She thoughtfully tapped her fingers against her desk before bringing her eyes back to Daniel. "Hey… I know that when we started this I said that I only wanted a baby but if I branched out would that make things a little easier?"_

 ** _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**

Standing in her old room putting on her make up for the evening, Regina thought back to her senior prom. It was the first dance she ever went to. She'd tried so hard to be above it all but in truth, she got swept up in it as soon as she put on that floor length gown. She'd felt pretty and happy and loved. And all those feelings had more to do with the boy on her arm than the dress she was wearing.

Seeing Robin so much these past three days had cracked a dam inside of her. All weekend old thoughts and feelings had been trickling through. Pain, guilt, secrets - they were all fighting to get out and she knew she was helpless to stop them. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself that it was only for one more day. All she had to do was get through this goodbye dance and tomorrow night she and Henry would be headed back to the city. Everything would be behind her again.

"Do you really need all that makeup?"

Mouth agape, she turned in her chair to face Henry as he sat on her bed, half watching her get ready, half playing space invaders on his GameBoy. "Yes I need it, young man. We're not all baby-faced like you."

He snickered turning his attention back to the game with a shrug. "I think you look pretty without it."

She rolled her eyes to hide her flattery. "Thank you sweetheart."

Turning back she watched him through the mirror as he laid out on her bed.

"So why are you guys having a dance anyway?" he asked.

"Because somebody thought it would be nice, I guess," she sighed, sweeping a rose blush onto her cheeks. "A fun way to relive the glory days."

Henry hummed, unimpressed. Setting down his game, he narrowed his eyes at her. "Will Robin be there?"

Reaching for her lipstick, she paused. "Maybe… I haven't thought about it but, yeah, he'll probably be there."

She hoped that would be the end of his questioning but of course, she wouldn't be that lucky. "If he's there are you gonna dance with him?"

Her heart thudded in chest. That was a loaded question if she'd ever heard one. "I don't know," she floundered. "Maybe, if he asks me."

Henry stared at her for a moment. "Do you like Robin? I mean _like like_ him."

Regina's breath caught in her throat as she shook her head. "No, of course not."

"You're lying." Henry's words came out blunt and angry, stunning her with their harshness.

She stared at him with wide eyes. "Henry…"

"No you said you wouldn't lie to me and now you're lying, I can tell!"

Hurt flickers in his hazel eyes and she softens. It had been one of their rules when he first came to stay with her. No lying. Not from either of them. She sighed, reaching out for his hand. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Still hesitant, he reluctantly took her hand and she turned in her chair to face him better. Hesitating for a moment, squeezed his hand tight. "The truth is when we were in high school Robin and I used to date."

Henry's face twisted up. "You mean he was like your boyfriend?"

"Yeah." Regina nodded. "And for a long time that meant he was very important to me but… things changed. I moved away and he stopped being a part of my life. So seeing him has made me feel a little weird and I think maybe you picked up on that at the lake."

"Maybe," mumbled Henry, shrugging his shoulders. "But if he was important before doesn't that mean he could be important again?"

If only he knew how much she'd been asking herself that very question. Every time she did the answer varied but one part of it never changed.

She smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek. "He'll never be as important as you."

Henry's lips pulled into a smile, signaling that he was reassured. Softly chuckling, she stood to press a kiss to his forehead. "Love you baby."

"Love you, mama."

Later on when Henry went downstairs to start a movie marathon with her father she would sit back down in front of the mirror and stare at her reflection. She'd been doing that a lot lately, looking at her face and trying to come to terms with the realization that it was now the face of a mother. It was an old habit. One she'd fallen into years ago when she carried a child she no longer speaks of. Back then the thought of being a mother had seemed so completely foreign and impossible but now she welcomes this new facet of her identity. Being Henry's mother is exactly who she was meant to be. She knows that. And once she returns to Boston she'll finally be able to properly revel in it again, without fighting the need to battle old ghosts.

Once again reaching for her lipstick, Regina silently resolved to get through the evening without incident. She'd dance, she'd have fun and laugh. And once it was over she'd leave town, her secrets still intact, her son tucked under her arm and Robin Locksely firmly in her rearview mirror… just as it should be.

Unfortunately for her, the dance would be more emotional than she'd hope for.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave any reviews, reactions or theories you have!** _


	12. Chapter 12

_**10 Years before…at Harvard...**_

 _Regina sighed as she leaned back in her seat, glancing away from her laptop screen and out her dorm window. It was early October at Harvard and the tree leaves in the courtyard had started fading to yellow, not that she spent a lot of time observing time. For the fourth night in a row, she sat at her dorm room desk, putting the final touches on a paper that was due for class. Ivy League school work wasn't a joke but damn if she didn't love every minute of it. Every moment she spent on campus she tried to soak it all in - the honor, the prestige, the pride she felt. She knew she had to because it might not last much longer._

 _She sucked in a sharp breath and placed her palm against her stomach. There it was again. That flutter. That movement beneath her skin. The small, gentle reminder that there was a person inside her, one always ready to remind her "I'm here." As if she could forget._

 _"Kicking again?"_

 _Regina shook her head as she turned to face Mal, who was looking at her expectantly. It took some tears and finangling but they managed to get housing together for the year._

 _"Not a kick," said Regina, shrugging her shoulders. "More like a… movement."_

 _Mal stared at her, a flicker of awe in her blue eyes as she fiddled with the scarf around her neck. "Maybe I should stay here with you?"_

 _"No," Regina immediately replied, turning back in her chair with a chuckle. "Mal, a pretty girl has asked you out for the first time in your entire life. I am not letting you screw this up." She sent her a playfully stern look. "You're going."_

 _Mal groaned in frustration, slipping the scarf off her neck. "I'm never nervous. I hate being nervous. Why am I so damn nervous?"_

 _"Because she's cute… and you actually like her," said Regina, with a smirk on her face._

 _Mal glared at her, annoyed. "So what will you be working on while I'm out?"_

 _Regina shrugged. "Nothing special. Just this essay on Tolstoy."_

 _Humming thoughtfully, Mal sat on her bed. "Then might I suggest you turn to your personal problems for the evening. You know, tackle the bun-in-the-oven issue once and for all?"_

 _Looking over her shoulder, Regina shot her best friend a dirty look and she responded with a smug lift of her eyebrows. Another flutter came from her torso and Regina rolled her eyes. Seemed like everyone was against her these days._

 _"For your information Mal… I have been working on the bun issue."_

 _"Have you?"_

 _"I have," said Regina, standing to her feet. "And I have come up with a temporary solution." She went over to her closet and pulled out an extra thick, extra large Harvard sweatshirt. Grinning maniacally, she ran her hand over it's crimson threads. "Super huge sweaters."_

 _Mal stared at her dubiously. "Super huge sweaters?"_

 _Regina nodded. "They're the perfect tool to help me hide my belly when I finally pop."_

 _Pursing her lips, Mal stared at her for a moment before taking a deep breath and standing from her bed. With sympathy in her eyes, she walked over and placed her hand on Regina's shoulder. "Okay I'm gonna gently say two things. Number one… your belly has already popped."_

 _Regina pouted, dropping the sweater to her side. "It has?"_

 _Mal nodded. "It's alright though, I've been spreading a rumor that you eat your feelings. Try and stay focused." She paused. "Number two… you know this isn't what I mean."_

 _Her throat growing tight, Regina sadly nods. "I know," she mumbles under her breath._

 _Running her thumb over the seam of her new sweater, she tries to avoid Mal's gaze. She'd spent the last few months preparing for Harvard, throwing herself into school and trying to forget everything else. A coping method that she knew would only get her so far._

 _"You're almost five months now," Mal gently reminded her. "It's time to come up with a plan."_

 _Biting her lip, she nodded. "I know. It's just… hard." She shrugged her shoulders. "I still don't know what I want to do."_

 _Mal hummed sympathetically. She knew how much Regina was struggling with the baby issue. They did shared a room. It was impossible not to hear the tears she shed at night._

 _"Maybe it'd help if you had someone to talk it over with. Someone who would care as much as you do."_

 _Regina grumbled before shuffling off over to her bed and lying down on her side. Mal quickly joined her, sitting by her side "Have you thought about calling him?"_

 _"What would I even say?" whispered Regina. So much time had passed since she last spoke to Robin. She wouldn't know how to speak to him about the weather, let alone the fact that she was pregnant._

 _Mal shook her head. "I don't know. 'You knocked me up' feels aggressive but 'I'm with child' is way too old fashioned."_

 _A surprised chuckle escaped rose from the back of her throat. "Don't you have a date to get to?"_

 _Throwing her head back, Mal let out another guttural groan. "Fine, I will go have dinner with the beautiful, brunette law major. Are you sure you're alright?"_

 _Regina nodded. "I'm fine. Go have fun for the both of us."_

 _After a small moment of hesitation, Mal flashed her a smile. "I'll bring you back every dirty detail."_

 _"I'm counting on it," Regina replied, a smirk clear on her face._

 _With only a bit more prodding Mal pulled on her scarf and finally headed off to her date. Regina was happy for her, truly. Now that she was out of Storybrooke Mal was finally confident enough to start dating and she hoped that she had a good time on her date._

 _For a few minutes, Regina stayed in bed running her hands over her stomach. What am I gonna do with you, she silently thought. It was far too late not to have the baby and deep inside she was glad. She wanted it to be born - it's what happens after that birth that was still a mystery to her. An obscure, terrifying mystery that she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to._

 _Sitting up in bed, she reached for her laptop, opening up a sad, empty work document that she'd created two months ago. Biting her lips she stared at the two words at the top of the page._

 _Dear Robin_

 _Every night for the past two months she'd opened her laptop and stared at those two words, unsure of how to continue. How does she do this? How does she tell him about their baby, about how lost and confused she feels? About how strange and upsetting it is to both hate him and need him so badly? Every time she thinks of how much she wants to say to him - scream to him - she always goes back to how much she wishes that this wasn't happening at all._

 _Putting her fingers to the keyboard, she suddenly lets out a sharp hiss. Her hands fly to the left side of her torso, trying to soothe the intense pain that just erupted through her side. She takes a deep breath, setting her laptop on the stand. That definitely wasn't a kick. Again a sharp pain goes through her, this time eliciting a soft cry from her._

 _Oh no._

 _Something was wrong._

XXXXXXXX

No matter how hard they tried to cover it up it was clear that the reunion dance was in the high school gym. Walking inside Regina with her friends could see that the decorating committee had given it their all. Red and white streamers were hung from the walls to the ceiling, where a glimmering disco ball spun sending spots of light all through the room. A DJ- who upon closer inspection was a former AV club geek - was situated at the front of the room playing hits from their senior years while her old classmates danced under dim lights. The sight of it all made her a bit more nostalgic than she'd expected..

"I feel like I'm having a homecoming flashback," grumbled Ursula, linking arms with her.

"Well then this certainly won't help," giggled Carlotta, pulling a mini flask from her purse.

Regina laughed as she watched Carlotta take a sip before passing it around to the rest of the group. The image of it was an exact replica of their freshman homecoming dance - the first time she'd ever had a sip of alcohol.

"I can't believe you brought a flask," she said, shaking her head. Her face twisted up as she took sip from the flask and tasted what appeared to be lukewarm gin.

Carlotta smirked. "Hey, if the reunion committee wasn't gonna provide any booze, did you really think I wouldn't bring my own?"

"Oh please, you would've had this in your purse either way," pointed out Mal, with a roll of her eyes. Still game, she took a sip from the flask. "Keep a look out for the princess though. You know she'd be mortified if anyone appeared drunk."

Regina let her eyes scan the dance floor. She told herself she was taking in the sights, looking at old familiar faces but she knew she was only searching for one in particular. It looked like Robin hadn't appeared yet. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

Shaking the thoughts of him out of her head, she nudged Mal with her elbow. "Let's go see who's here."

It's surprising how much ten years can change a person. The dance was the first chance Regina had really taken to mingle with her former classmates. She took a moment to chat with her old lab partner Aurora Jacobs, who was finally getting treatment for her narcolepsy. Over by the punchbowl she shared a drink with Killian Rogers who, despite being the town's resident bad boy, had appeared to have gotten his act together after a stint in the Navy and the birth of his daughter. Lance Knight, the shy linebacker she used to tutor, was now married to Gwen who used to be attached at the hip to his best friend Arthur. It was weird. Everyone seemed to be so far away from the person they used to be, even the people who hadn't changed that much. And all this time she'd thought it was just her.

An hour in she was ready to call it a night. It was fun to catch up with everyone but as far as festivities went she was ready to move on. Maybe have a drink in the parking lot with the girls, catch a movie with Henry before he went to sleep. But then someone tapped her on her shoulder.

Turning she found herself looking into a familiar pair of blue eyes.

"Do you want to dance?"

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review if you did!** _


	13. Chapter 13

**_Welcome back! Please check the trigger warning at the bottom of the page if you think you're at risk. Hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

 ** _10 years before…_**

 _Still in his best suit David rushed down the trail by the lake looking for Robin. No one had seen him in hours. After the funeral he'd all but disappeared and David's mother was worried. And David didn't blame her. He and Robin had never been close. Sure they were cousins but they didn't have much in common, they didn't run in the same circles at school. They didn't talk much. But the way he'd looked at his father's funeral…_

 _He needed to find him, make sure he was okay._

 _One of the waitresses at the Golden Arrow said he'd come in earlier but didn't stay for long. After an hour or two of driving through town he'd finally spotted his truck at the baseball field near the lake. He remembered Robin saying he and Regina used to have a special spot there. It wasn't long before he found him, sitting near the roots of a tree with at least four empty cans of beer near his feet and another in his hand. He was still dressed in his outfit from the funeral, his tie unraveled around his neck as he tilted his head back to drink another gulp of alcohol._

 _David sighed. "Damn it." Cautiously, he approached his cousin. "Robin…"_

 _Startled, Robin looked up at him a mix of surprise and shame in his bloodshot eyes. As he lowered the can from his lips, his expression turned sour. "What the hell are you doing here?"_

 _His words slurred together and David grimaced, realizing how drunk he already was. "Looking for you. You left the funeral and didn't tell anybody. Mom's worried."_

 _Robin huffed, looking away. "I'm fine."_

 _"_ _Clearly," replied David, eyeing the case of beer next to the tree. "You shouldn't be drinking Robin."_

 _"_ _And who's gonna stop me?" scoffed Robin, glaring at him. "Mom's dead, Dad's in the ground too and the love of my life is off at college." He snapped open another can of beer. "There's literally no one left who cares."_

 _David tried not to let that comment sting. True, they weren't friends but they were still family. Of course, he cared._

 _Robin took another gulp of beer, then sighed heavily. "You wanted to make sure I was okay. I'm okay. You can go now."_

 _"_ _You really think I'm gonna leave you out here to down a whole case of beer by yourself?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, unless you plan to join me."_

 _"_ _I'm not gonna do that, Robin."_

 _"_ _Then you can fuck off David!" snapped Robin. "I buried my father today! I don't have parents anymore! So as far as I'm concerned if I wanna drink 'til I can't feel anymore that's my goddamn right but I'm not gonna do it with you standing over my shoulder all night!"_

 _His words were sharp and angry as they echoed across the lake, making David flinch._

 _Robin sucked in deep breath, reaching for another can of beer. He held it out to his cousin. "You have to option Dave. You can sit here and drink or you can judge me and leave but that is it."_

 _David gulped, hesitating as he stared at his cousin, barely recognizing the person in front of him. His face was angry but his eyes seemed hurt. He couldn't leave him alone. Sighing, he accepted the can of beer. "Give me your keys first."_

 _"_ _Fine," Robin mumbled under his breath. He dug his car keys out of his pocket and tossed them at David before dropping down beneath the tree again._

 _Sighing David, cracked open his beer and joined him. He'd never liked drinking. Family history aside, he liked to keep a clear head. Hopefully, he could get away with nursing one beer for the night and keep Robin from going off the deep end. He'd figure out how to get him home when he passed out._

 _He didn't know how long they sat there, not speaking. With all the tension it felt like forever. Taking a sip from his can every ten minutes, letting it run lukewarm, David tried to focus on the sound of the crickets and birds rather than the swirling ball of emotion that was his cousin. Sitting beside him, made him feel useless in the worst possible way. They were family. There should be something he could do or say to lessen the pain, at least a little._

 _"_ _I ruined my whole life." Robin stared at his hands, letting an empty beer can fall to the ground. "I have nothing left."_

 _"_ _That's not true," whispered David._

 _"_ _It is," replied Robin, nodding his head. "I lost my father. I gave up my spot at college and ruined things with the only girl I've ever loved."_

 _David shook his head. "Hey… it's not your fault you and Regina didn't work out."_

 _"_ _Yes it is," he whispered, choked up. "I told her I never loved her. I sent her away and… now she hates me."_

 _"_ _Oh," breathed David. Damn. He knew Robin and Regina broke up but he assumed it was a mutual thing, like all the other senior couples._

 _"_ _I miss her," Robin said softly._

 _"_ _Then call her," urged David. "Tell her what happened. Tell her the truth."_

 _Robin shook his head. "I can't now. It's too late."_

 _No it's not, David wanted to say. It couldn't be. He had a girl he loved, Mary-Margaret. Sure they were just teens but he couldn't imagine a life without her. He had to believe if he screwed up, there would be a chance for him to make it right. And the same had to be true for Robin. No matter how much time passed._

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

David noticed Regina as soon as she'd walked in; Mary-Margaret had pointed her out, surprised she'd shown up. No one expected to see Regina Mills in Storybrooke again. After the news came out that she and Robin broke up, they were sure there was nothing here for her anymore. Though he never spoke it aloud, David thought differently. He always knew Regina Mills would be back. Whether she knew it or not, she had unfinished business here.

With one eye he watched Regina and with the other he watched the door, hoping his cousin would make an unscheduled appearance. Even after ten years, he still rooted for Robin to tell her the truth. He didn't know if Regina would take it well. All he knew is ever since graduation his cousin had been walking around with the weight of a million "what if's" strapped to his back. It was time he unloaded them.

He must've seen distracted because his wife was pushing him toward the crowd, ordering him to mingle in an excited whisper that meant there was no arguing with her. He could've gone anywhere in the gym - caught up with his old football buddies, said hello to the AV Club - but he went straight to her. Almost felt like he had no choice.

She grinned when she realized it was him who tapped her on the shoulder. "David, hi!"

"Hi." He smiled, gesturing toward the dance floor. "Do you want to dance?"

She eyed the dance floor, playfully hesitant. "During a slow song?" She raised an eyebrow. "Think your wife will be alright with that?"

"I think my wife is occupied for the moment." He nodded toward the edge of the dance floor where his wife was currently swaying in the arms of her best friend, Ruby Lucas. "I don't think she'll mind."

Satisfied, Regina nods. "Sure."

She lets David lead her onto the dance floor. Ever the gentleman, he places his in the middle of her back, high enough so there's not even the slightest chance he's getting fresh with her. She could almost chuckle at the amount of effort he's putting into his making sure his intentions come off purely platonic. It reminds her of the days in AP chemistry when always insured three feet of space between them at all times. It's cuter now that he's an adult.

As they swayed to the rhythm of "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay, David looks down at her, sheepish. "It appears I owe you an apology."

She lifts her eyebrows, surprised. "Do you?"

"Yeah…" he drawls, feeling foolish. "I might've made a miscalculation and told Robin you had a love child."

"Thought it might be you who started that rumor," she grumbled. Rolling her eyes, she sighed and shook her head. "It's okay. We're at our high school reunion. A bomb's gonna drop at some point. Not surprised I was everyone's first suspect."

"Well, I'm still sorry," he insisted. "And Robin told me about the adoption. That's amazing."

A glowing smile appeared on her face. "Thanks. Henry is… the love of my life."

He nodded, going silent for a moment before asking, "What was that like? Adopting?"

Her smile dips a little, thrown off by his question. Not quite sure how honest he wants her to be she meanders for a bit. "It was… rewarding but really difficult at first. There were a lot of tough, hard moments but once I found Henry things fell into place for us. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"That's nice," he mumbles, his eyes dropping to the floor.

Within seconds she can tell she's lost him. Gently squeezing his hand, she tries to pull him back into the moment. "You alright, David?"

"I'm fine," he quickly assures her. "It just… must be nice is all. Having a kid."

She tilts her head at him, curious. "Are you and Mary-Margaret thinking of trying?"

Honestly, she's a little surprised they don't have a gaggle of kids already. She knows that had been Mary-Margaret's plan. She'd wanted to be a mother since she was handed her first baby doll. It was all she'd talked about in high school.

David gulped. "We've been trying for years now." He shrugged. "Haven't had any luck."

"Oh." She tried her best to keep the shock off her face, knowing despite her efforts she'd failed miserably. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," he immediately replied. Unable to stop himself he added, "We've gotten pregnant a few times actually but… they didn't work out." He pauses. "We sort of...lost one just last month."

"Last month?" The words tumble from her mouth before she can hold them back. Her eyes flicker across the dance floor towards his wife, who is still dancing with her best friend, a smile on her lips and blush in her cheeks. She looks so… happy. Regina would never have guessed any differently.

David sighs, eyeing his wife with the same look of wonder as his dance partner. "I don't know how she does it but she always makes it through. She always stays positive." He shakes his head. "I'm not half as strong as her."

Regina swallows hard. David's grip on her waist the only thing holding her up at the moment as memories flash behind her eyes and grief rises up in her stomach. She struggles to push it down. She wants to run away but her body is frozen in place, trapped in this dance and unable to escape. Taking a deep breath she brings herself back into the moment.

"She's compartmentalizing," she says. David looks at her and she shakes her head. "It's only gonna get her so far. One day the dam will break and the emotions will overflow, in some way or another. Let them." Biting her lip, she pauses. "Dealing with the loss of a possibility is hard. Especially when there's nothing real for you to say goodbye to."

Filled with sympathy, he narrows his eyes at her. He didn't know why he'd dropped all his baggage at her feet. They'd hardly told a soul about their struggles. But the way she'd spoken to him, the advice she'd given and the easy understanding in her eyes. It all spoke to a truth she'd hadn't said aloud. One she didn't need to. He understood.

The song reached its end and they both let out a subtle breath of relief, knowing their little emotional excursion had reached its end.

"Thanks for the dance," she said, squeezing his hand.

"Anytime," he said, forcing a smile onto his face.

He started to walk away and she called out to him. Ripping her name tag off her chest, she hastily scrawled a phone number beneath her name and pressed it into his hand. "It's the number for the agency I used with Henry." She shrugged. "If you ever want to give them a call…"

"Thanks," he softly replied, staring at the slip of paper with uncertainty. "Maybe we'll think about it."

As he disappeared into the crowd, surely heading back toward his wife, Regina remained where she was, weighted in place by the emotions flooding her heart. Looking around at the disco lights and confetti, hearing the upbeat music she knew she needed to get out of this gym. Everything about it amplified how down she was feeling and after what just happened she really wanted to hug her kid.

Sending Mal a text that she was leaving, she grabbed her denim jacket and headed outside. A warm summer breeze fell over her and she instantly felt better. The distinct smell of Storybrooke - a mix of lake water, cows and wildflowers - hit her nose and she breathed it in, savoring the moment. She'd forgotten how comforting the smell of her hometown could be, how familiar. A part of her regrets staying away for so long but she quickly reminds herself she'd had good reason to stay away.

Looking down the road, she grimaces. It's about a mile to her father's house. Not completely unwalkable but still a pain. Storybrooke is a one-cab kind of town and she doubts Uber has made an appearance here. Crossing her arms, she starts walking. At least she doesn't have to worry about being mugged.

Her pace is decidedly slow. She wants to enjoy this walk, enjoy having a moment alone. She hasn't had one since she'd come back to town.

Tomorrow afternoon she and Henry would be on their way to Boston and surprisingly she was a little sad about that. She doubted she'd ever have a reason to return, not in the immediate future anyway. It was exactly how she'd felt in the days before graduation. She'd been so focused on all the reasons she wanted to leave, she hadn't wanted to dwell on the good things she'd be leaving behind. The clear night sky, all her old classmates, the house she'd grown up in. It was nice to be reminded there were things about her hometown that she actually liked.

But of course, there were some things that she didn't like at all.

Turning the corner onto her street, she stops in her tracks when she sees a blue pickup truck waiting at the end of the block. It's a familiar sight. One she used to run to on weeknights when she'd sneak out of her bedroom window and down the street where her parents couldn't see her climb into her boyfriend's truck.

She doesn't even have to look through the window to know it's Robin. Pausing, she debates whether it's a good idea to address the fact that he's waiting for her. Her dance with David was emotionally draining enough, she didn't need anymore drama on top of that. However, it was her last night in town. And leaving without having one last talk with him didn't sit right at all.

Holding her breath, she traveled around to the driver's side of the truck and knocked on the window. It rolled down and revealed Robin sitting in the driver's seat, a nervous look in his eye.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They stared at each other for a moment, letting the weight of the night fall over them. They both knew anything that happened next, they'd probably remember for the rest of their lives.

"Are you up for a drive?"

"Sure."

* * *

 _ **Hope you enjoyed this! Please leave a review if you did!** _

_**TW: MISCARRIAGE; FERTILITY ISSUES**_


	14. Chapter 14

**_Welcome back! Please check the trigger warning at the bottom of the page if you think you're at risk. Hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

 ** _10 years before..._**

 _She lay in the hospital bed, its dry sheets scratched at the underside of her bare legs. The blood is gone now. The nurses had rinsed her off when Mal had brought her in - not that she really remembers that. It's all become a blur. She remembers the stabbing pain in her ribs, Mal finding her… seeing the blood dripping down her legs. But it's all blurred. And repetitive. Her mind keeps playing those moments over and over again. She couldn't escape the loop if she tried. And it never makes any more sense. How could it? How could it be that one minute she's pregnant… and the next she's not?_

 _She can feel Mal squeezing her hand, can hear the doctor speaking to her but she's a million miles away. Only little phrases and words break through the fog of the loop._

 _"Not your fault"_

 _"Nothing you could've done differently"_

 _"Removing the fetus"_

 _She can't move. She wants to. She wants to rip out the IV in her arm, tear off this hospital gown and run. Away from this hospital, away from this experience, away from the memory of this awful day that she knows will haunt her for the rest of her life. She can't do that though. All she can do is breathe. One shaky breath after another. That's all she can do._

 _Mal whispers that her father is coming._

 _The doctor says again that it's not her fault… but she knows that isn't true. It can't be._

She never thought she'd be here again. Back in Storybrooke, back in this truck…. back next to him.

In the dark, she watches his profile out of the corner of her eye. It comes in flashes as they drive past the spaced out street lights that line the road. Everytime the glow hits his face she has to remind herself to breathe. It's like she's 17 again, so young and so taken with the boy he used to be.

They haven't said a word yet. The only thing keeping the silence at bay was the churning of his truck's engine, the staticky music coming from the radio and the relentless pitter-patter of her own thoughts running around in her head. Sitting next to him, it was impossible not to think of all he didn't know. All that she'd gone through in the past. All that she'd… lost.

She wonders if she should tell him, if that would be fair or even meaningful. Her imagination runs rampants with all the different ways that conversation could go. Soft and solemn, loud and passionate. It's a waste of mental energy. She knows she can never tell him what happened all those years ago. There wasn't a shovel big enough to dig up all the feeling she'd buried about that subject.

 _The past is the past,_ she silently reminded herself. _Leave it where it lies._

Bold words from a woman sitting in the passenger seat of her high school boyfriend's truck.

The truck turns down a dirt road and she realizes where he's headed. To the lake, right to their old spot. She can see their willow tree in the distance, moonlight speckled across the lake water. Her stomach churns uncomfortably. A million memories flood through her mind and she can't tell if she's disturbed or comforted by them. Either way, a smile creeps onto her face without her permission. "I remember this place."

"Impossible to forget," he replies, shifting the truck into park.

Together they look out over the lake together, taking in the moonlight, remembering all the moments they shared in this spot. The kisses, the secrets, the memories.

"We were so young," she whispered.

"We're still young," he quickly replied, with a little heat. "We're only 28."

"28 with kids," she reminds him. "We're basically 33."

He snickers under his breath, turning to her in his seat. "You know I never brought anyone else here."

"Oh, that can't be true." She rolls her eyes in disbelief. It's impossible that he's kept the most romantic spot in town to himself. She knows it's power, it's allure. "You must've brought a dozen women here over the years."

Robin shakes his head. "Not one."

Her smile dips at the sincerity in his eyes. "Really?"

"I couldn't." He shrugs. "I mean, maybe, I brought Roland out here a few times before he was old enough to remember but… it was always our place."

"Our place…" She whispered the words, resenting herself for much she enjoyed the taste of them on her tongue. It wasn't a declaration she could fight. They'd spent so many nights here, in this very spot, in the bed of a truck just like this one. Memories flash in her head of his skin against hers, his lips on her neck and his voice in her ear whispering how much he loved her. Suddenly, she was very aware of how close he was to her in the cab of the truck. How good he looked in that plain white tee with the scruff around his jawline. She swallowed, finding it hard to breathe.

"I think I need some air," she sighed, already reaching for the handle of the passenger door.

She could feel his eyes on her as she stepped out of the truck, stumbling as her feet hit the ground. A cool breeze passed across the lake, raising goosebumps on her skin. She immediately crosses her arms, shielding herself from the wind and all the buried feelings threatening to knock her over. Keeping eyes trained on the lake, she hears Robin climb out after her, his door slamming shut as his footsteps approach her from behind.

"You alright?"

She's never heard a more loaded question in her life.

A forced chuckle comes up from the back of her throat as she nods. "I'm fine," she easily lies. "Just a little lightheaded from Carlotta's flask."

Concern rises in his eyes. "Oh… do you want me to take you home?"

"No."

Her answer slips past her lips without her consent. Being around Robin was nerve wracking, dangerous and pointless. Going home would be the smart, sensible thing for her to do.

But then she's never been capable of doing the smart thing when it comes to Robin.

Even in the dim headlights of his truck, she can see the hint of relief that shines in his eyes when she says she's not leaving. A blush rises in her cheek. How can he still make her feel like this? Like a giddy, eighteen-year-old school girl with a flutter still in her heart?

An old Katy Perry song comes on the radio then, another memory rises in her head. One look in his eyes and she knows he's thinking of the same moment.

Grinning, she mumbles, "You remember this song?"

"Of course I remember this song," he says. Trotting back to the truck, he reaches through the window to turn up the radio, drowning out the crickets. "It was four days before sophomore homecoming, right by this very lake, that you first asked me to dance with you to this song."

She scoffed, scrunching her eyebrows. "Um… I remember that it was you who asked me to dance."

"Only because you didn't know how to slow dance," he reminded her. "And as I recall, you were in such a fit about it that I agreed to show you all the steps of the high school slow dance ritual."

She hummed, refusing to agree with him. "And of course… it all begins with some prolonged eye contact."

"Of course." His smile grew as he walked toward her, looking into her brown eyes every step of the way. "How else is a young man supposed to notice how pretty you are?"

"Ah yes," she replied, nodding her head. "Which of course leads you right into step two."

"Compliments," he supplied. "The most crucial of all the steps. By the way, have I told you how stunning you look tonight?"

She hummed again, shaking her head. "No you have not, but that's fine because I haven't told you how handsome you look."

"And after that comes step three," he said, raising his arms in a welcoming gesture. "One of us actually has to ask for the dance."

"And the other has to accept." Staring at him with his arms held out to her, and the unspoken question clear in his eyes, she bit her lip. _This is a bad idea,_ she thought, stepping into his embrace. Her left hand fell into his just as his arm went around her back pulling her closer. It should've felt awkward and wrong, being back in his arms after all this time. It wasn't. It was remarkably easy to fall back in place with him, to lace her fingers through his and let her forehead touch his as they swayed to the music. Ten years later and it still felt right.

Another breeze passed over them helping the scent of him wash over her. She breathes him in, her jaw shuddering slightly as she exhales. "Why'd you bring me here?" she asked.

"I… I missed you," he softly admits.

"You did?" She hates how quietly hopeful her voice sounds.

"All the time."

They've stopped swaying now, their feet grounded in the dirt. His forehead still rests against hers and she's grateful. It's easier to keep her eyes off his face that way. She'll crumble if she looks into his eyes now; that she knows. So she stays still, heart pounding in her chest as she continues to let him hold her. God, she's missed him. She hadn't allowed herself to acknowledge that in years but she's missed him. She's missed this. She's missed how safe and secure and loved she felt every time his arms went around her. Standing here near the lake in their spot it almost feels like she can have that again.

As if in slow motion, she realized he was about to kiss her. His head tilted just so and she sucked in a small breath. A hundred times she must've imagined what it would feel like to kiss him again, to have his lips against hers. Right now… all she felt was guilt and terror.

In the back of her mind memories exploded - flashes of blood, itchy hospital sheets and a doctor's voice repeating _it's not your fault_. A tiny life growing beneath her skin, vanished. Just like the tears she'd let fall in this very spot.

She pulls away before his lips get within an inch of hers.

The steadying warmth of his fingers laced through hers disappears as she abruptly ripped her hand from his, practically leaping away from him. Gasping for breath, she shakes her head, "No."

His eyes are wide and hurt but she can only repeat herself. "No, no… I can't do this. Not with you."

"Regina…"

"No, this ended," she firmly reminds him. "You ended it. You said you didn't love me and that was the end. It all stopped there. So why… why are you doing this now? Ten years later, why are you trying to do this again? What is this?"

Robin swallowed as he stared back at her, his lips pressed together as he absorbs every word she says, unable to answer her. "I… I don't know why," he desperately stammers. "I just know that you being back here means something. It has to."

She shakes her head. "No it doesn't. It doesn't have to mean anything. We don't have to mean anything." She pauses. "It was high school… it wasn't real."

She knows that's a lie. Even as the words come out of her mouth she doesn't believe them. The heartbreak she'd felt had been real. The love she'd had for him had been real. It was just one-sided. Or so she thought.

Swallowing the lump that's threatening to outgrow her throat, she tries to regain some composure. "You didn't love me… and that's okay. It's fine. It's -"

"Not true."

Her heart pounded in her ears. "What?"

"I didn't… I didn't mean what I said at graduation. At all." His voice shook as he spoke with a terrified look in his eyes. "I loved you Regina. Of course, I loved you."

She stands there, mouth open as she stares at him, his words echoing in her head. _Of course I loved you._ Disbelief wasn't a powerful enough word for what she was feeling. He'd torn her heart out. He'd left her pregnant. He'd left her alone as she went through the most devastating experience of her life. And… he lied?

"You loved me?" Her shoulders started to shake with involuntary laughter. "You loved me. That's what you thought love was? Robin you didn't love me. You destroyed me. You left me standing here, completely alone, thinking that none of it was real! Do you have any idea how I felt? How much you put me through?!"

"I do!"

"You don't." She sadly shook her head. "You couldn't possibly."

His breathing grew more anxious. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want to hurt you, Regina… I just, I didn't want you to stay here for me." He paused, struggling to find the words. "I saw the letter."

"What letter?"

"The letter from Harvard," he said, raising his voice. "The one that said you couldn't go if you stayed here. I saw it."

Her heart stuttered. "And… you made sure I went."

He nodded. "I did."

"Okay… who the hell were you to make that decision for me?!" She scrunched her eyes closed, as if that would quell the anger boiling up inside her. "Oh my god, Robin! Why would you even…? Why would you even tell me this? What difference is it gonna make? What the hell is the point?!"

"I don't know!" His mind is scrambling now, she can see it. "I don't know, Regina… I just…"

He takes a step toward her and it's as if every cell in her body revolts in protest. "DON'T come near me!" She orders, immediately stopping him in his tracks.

Her breath shudders as she tries to exhale all the pain and anger running through her veins. She averts her gaze back to the lake, with all its moonlight and subtle waves. It didn't comfort her at all. She kept flitting between the past and the present, his lie and his confession, and all she felt was hurt. This lake wasn't a place of love, it was a landmark of pain.

Trying her hardest not to fall apart, she turns away from him. "I have to go. Please do not follow me."

Arms wrapped around herself, she walks away from him. As soon as his face fades from view her bottom lip begins to tremble. She bites down on it, trying to prevent the sobs from slipping out between her lips. Tears well up in her eyes, falling down to her burning cheeks. She knows she's alone but it doesn't stop her from raising her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the whimpers rising up from the back of her throat.

Trying to swallow her sobs, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and texted Mal.

After what happened at Harvard she thought she could never be heartbroken again. That all the pain from that one incident had sealed her off, protected her from the sting of all the lesser possibilities that could hurt her.

She was wrong.

* * *

 _ **TW: Miscarriage**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Welcome back!**_

* * *

 _ **10 years before…**_

 _Standing on the sidewalks of Harvard University, Robin couldn't feel more out of place if he tried. As he walked past students and professors, he kept waiting for campus security to pluck him out of the crowd and remind him that he didn't belong. Which he didn't._

 _He couldn't believe he was actually here. It'd been 12 weeks since his dad died. Seven months since he'd spoken to Regina at all. He must've thought about making this trip a million times. More than once he'd climbed into his truck and just sat there talking himself out of making the journey. Sometimes he'd get as far as the town line before turning back. But there was just something about today…_

 _He'd woken up that morning, had a cup of coffee… and then he was on the road._

 _Slowly walking through the campus, he took in the sights but mostly looked for her. It wasn't as if he'd called ahead and this school was huge. She could be anywhere. There were probably a million girls enrolled here. He avoided eye contact with everyone he saw, like they'd be able to tell he wasn't student with one look._

 _God, to be a student here. For months he'd looked back on his decision to break up with Regina, wondering if he'd made the right choice. Standing on the Harvard grounds, the answer to that question wasn't any clearer. But he did know that he was glad that she was here. It was the life she'd always deserved._

 _He just wondered if there was still a place for him in it._

 _His mother once told him that once you love someone you can forgive them for anything. Regina had loved him and… maybe that meant there was still a chance for them._

 _He knew it was crazy, that it was too much to ask after the things he'd said but… he wanted her back. Nothing in his life felt right without Regina. He missed her._

 _If he could just see her once, talk to her, tell her he was sorry… it would be enough. It had to be._

 _He just couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't done with each other._

 _Not yet._

 _He stumbled across her in the middle of a courtyard. The sight of her stopped him in his tracks. The fall sun was beaming, its light hitting her hair at just the right angle to bring out the shine in every strand. Sitting cross-legged at the base of a tree, she had a book in her lap and a notebook in her hand, her eyes completely focused on the words in front of her._

 _His heart pounded in his chest and he couldn't breathe. It was just like the day he'd first found her at the lake back home… except everything had changed._

 _She shifted, turning a page in her textbook and his eyes widened. Almost against his will, he slowly retreated finding another tree to lurk behind. His throat grew tight as he stared at her, half hidden away. She was wearing a Harvard sweater. Her hair was the same shade of midnight black but longer, falling down to her shoulders. She looked beautiful._

 _He wasn't prepared for this. To actually see her and talk to her. Now that she was in sight the idea of it was daunting. What would he even say?_

" _Regina!"_

 _His heart leapt into his throat at the sound of her name. For a moment, he almost thought that he'd be the one to call out to her._

 _She looked up and smiled at a group of students who approached her by the tree. Three girls and a guy. Maybe a study group? They all had backpacks. When they made it over to her, he watched as she snapped her book closed and stood to her feet. His heart clenched when the guy offered her his hand to help. Someone said something and she full, bright smile on her face could outshine the sun. He used to think that smile was for him and him alone._

 _She walked away with the others. And he didn't follow her._

 _Instead, he made his way back to his truck and started the drive back home._

 _Seeing Regina at Harvard made everything clear._

 _She was where she was meant to be. And so was he._

 _There was nothing more between them._

 ** _XxXxXxX_**

The engine of Robin's truck rumbled as he made his way down the road. He wished he could say that things hadn't gone to plan but the truth was there hadn't been a plan. When he'd gotten in his truck that night there'd been no plan, no idea or even a wish for what he wanted to happen. There was just the need to see her again.

He didn't mean for it to go to shit like it had.

Just like she'd demanded, he hadn't followed her when she left the lake. For the next ten minutes he'd sat against the bumper of his truck with his head in his heads, wondering why the hell he'd decided to tell her the truth. The night had been going well, he'd had her in his arms again. And then…

He didn't know what happened. Well, that's not true. He did try to kiss her. Like most of this night it hadn't been planned but the moment had just been so nice. They were at the lake, she was in his arms again. He hadn't expected her to recoil like she had but he couldn't blame her.

Perhaps things would've been better if he'd kept his mouth shut. At least then she might've let him drive her home.

He'd slowly driving down the road, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of her and he was starting to get worried. Hopefully someone had picked her up. If not she'd apparently disappeared without a trace.

He just wanted to know that she'd gotten home safe. After that he'd leave her alone for good this time, if that's what she wanted. It probably was.

Even as he searched for her kept replaying her words in his head, how she'd screamed and yelled at him. How hurt she'd been. Over the years he'd wondered many times what would happen if he was finally able to tell her the truth. Nothing good as it turned out.

He passed the high school on his way to her house, pulling a U-turn once he saw the white balloons taped to the gym doors. It was only half-past nine, the dance should still be going on. Maybe she'd gone back there?

Walking into the gym, he tried to attract as little attention as possible. It wasn't hard. Most of the crowd had moved on for the night and the few that were left appeared to be a little more than tipsy, despite Mary-Margaret's dry rule. Even still he stuck to the wall, peering over everyone's heads just trying to check if Regina was here.

"She's not here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of that loud, slurring voice. Carlotta Duville had sneaked up behind him, daggers shooting out of her green eyes as she stared him down, swaying a little unsteadily in her heels. Robin sighed, "Oh Christ."

"He's not here either," she angrily slurred. "Why are you?"

He groaned at the smell of gin on her breath. If he had to guess she'd probably been drinking since the dance started. It truly was high school all over again. "I just wanted to make sure Regina-"

"She's fine," Carlotta cut him off. "Mal picked her up off the side of the road where you left her in shambles… again."

She was too busy taking another swig from her flask to see the relief pass over Robin's eyes. Regina had called Mal. Good, that meant she was safe for the night. He sighed, turning for the exit. "Good to see you again, Duville."

"Why can't you just leave her alone!" she gritted out, raising her voice. "You have no idea what you've put her through."

"So I've heard," he said, trying to ignore her.

"You break her heart, you leave her pregnant…"

Robin froze. "What?"

"Carlotta!" Ursula sped over to them, her eyes wide as she wrenched the flask from her hand. "Give me this! Let's go!"

"No!" snapped Carlotta, trying to fight Ursula's grip on her arm. "He needs to know how bad he hurt her, he almost ruined our friend's life!"

"Shut your mouth and get in the car!" Ursula ordered, pushing her toward the door.

"Ursula!" Robin finally found his voice. "What is she talking about? What pregnancy?"

She couldn't even look him in the eye. "Ignore her Robin. She's just drunk."

Carlotta snorted. "Not so drunk I forgot her freshman year of college. God she cried so much because of his baby…"

"Shut up!" Ursula all but picked her up and carried her outside with Robin hot on their heels. After fumbling with her keys, she shoved her drunk friend in the backseat of her Prius where she promptly passed out. Shutting the car door, Ursula tried to dart to the driver's seat but Robin stood in her way.

"Wait! Ursula tell me the truth… Was Regina pregnant?"

She pressed her lips together, averting her gaze as she deeply sighed. Finally, she looked back up at him, glaring as harshly as she could. "Go home Robin."

She sidestepped him and climbed into her car, starting it as fast as she could. Just before peeling out of the parking lot she shot him one last look. It was quick but still long enough for him to see the emotion in her eyes.

Guilt.

* * *

 ** _So now Robin knows the truth. Let me know what you think! Please leave a review!_**


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Welcome back!**_

* * *

 _ **10 years ago at Harvard…**_

 _Mal always thought that college would be fun. All those years in Storybrooke, she kept imagining nights spent out on the town, meeting girls, attending interesting lectures. But most importantly she imagined doing all of it with her best friend by her side. Her and Regina. College was always supposed to be about the two of them. Getting out of town together, discovering something better had been their plan since they were 10 years old._

 _She supposed the plan succeeded. Just not in the way she'd expected._

 _It'd been a month since Regina's miscarriage and things were still tense in their dorm room. Regina had barely spoken two words to her - or anybody - since that night. It was like living with a ghost._

 _The first few days Mal treaded on eggshells, doing everything she could not to upset her. She erased all evidence of what happened before Regina got back to the dorm. Had her bed stripped of its bloody sheets, had the shower cleaned. Whispers had spread through the dorm about what happened, but she'd been glaring all the other residents into silence, making sure no one dared to pester either of them. By the time Regina checked out of the hospital, there was no real evidence that she'd been pregnant at all._

 _Regina didn't talk about what happened. Mal knew the school had arranged for her to go to therapy, but Regina never mentioned her sessions. She just woke up, went to class, studied, and that was it. Mal could barely recognize her. She'd seen Regina sad before, devastated even, but nothing close to this. No tears, no smiles, no anger. It was like she was running on autopilot._

 _Mal tried to let it be, but truthfully, she was concerned. It was only when she saw Regina sitting in an off-campus coffee shop during what was meant to be her therapy appointment that she decided to address her concerns._

 _It was a week before Thanksgiving break when she finally cornered her. She'd just gotten back from a talk with her professor and Regina was laying on her bed with a text book in hand, studying for an economics test._

" _So…" she drawled, tossing her backpack onto her own bed. "I talked with Ursula and Carlotta. They're coming down from Boston to join us for Thanksgiving. Looks like they don't want to head home, either."_

" _Sounds good," Regina mumbled, not even looking up from her book._

 _Mal pressed her lips together, trying not to unleash her frustration. She was getting really tired of her best friend not looking at her._

" _I think they're really looking forward to seeing you," she added. "Especially after what happened…"_

 _Regina's pen went still in her hand and Mal tried not to take satisfaction out of getting her attention. "Yeah, they've just been so worried ever since I called them from the hospital."_

 _Snapping her textbook closed, Regina stood from her bed. "There's no reason for that."_

 _She started shoving her materials into her backpack as Mal gawked at her._

" _There's no reason for that?"_

" _No." Regina shook her head. "I'm fine."_

" _People who are fine don't skip therapy," Mal snapped, before she could stop herself._

 _Regina paused, staring at her with an open mouth. "Have you been spying on me?"_

" _You think I need to spy on you to know that you're not okay?" Mal scoffed. "You're my best friend, Regina Mills. I know when something is messing you up. And you_ _have_ _been messed up ever since you lost the baby."_

" _Shut up!" Regina's face went red as she glared at her. "Just shut up Mal! I don't want to talk about this!"_

" _But you need to talk about it! With me, with anybody," she stressed. "You are bottling all this shit up and it is gonna rip you apart from the inside out! For god's sake, just let it out!"_

" _No!" she shouted. "No! If I let it out I will shatter, Mal! Do you understand that? Do you understand that I am barely hanging on here! I don't need to talk about this, Mal! I need to forget it! From start to finish, the whole thing was a dark, numb nightmare! I wanted out of it the entire time!" She paused, taking a shaky breath. "And I don't need to be reminded of that."_

 _Slipping on her backpack, she stomps over to the front door. "You're supposed to be my best friend, Mal. Start acting like it!"_

 _She slammed the door behind her, knocking one of their posters off the wall. Mal watched it fall to the floor as she sat down on her bed. Sighing, she shook her head._

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 _ **Present day…**_

When Mal got the text from Regina to come pick her up, she knew in her gut that something had gone wrong. That feeling was only confirmed when she found her friend on the side of the road with tears running down her face.

"What happened?" She asked.

Regina shook her head. "A whole new batch of shit."

By the time she was finished recounting the story, they'd made it back to town. Mal was in disbelief. Even after she'd confronted him in the bar, she didn't actually expect Robin to come clean. Despite the results, a tiny part of her was proud of him. Holding onto secrets never helped anyone. If only her best friend could learn that lesson.

Regina was solemn in the passenger seat of her Prius. She'd wiped away her tears and gone silent after retelling what happened between her and Robin. Mal watched her from the corner of her eye as she drove. "You want to talk about it?"

Regina shook her head. "Nothing to talk about."

Mal tightened her grip on the steering wheel, gritting her teeth. Of course, she thought. Same old Regina. Retreating away from her feelings. _Yeah, not this time_ , she thought.

Looking out the window, Regina pinched her eyebrows together. "Mal, you just drove past my house."

"Yeah, I'm not taking you there."

"What?"

"We're going to Robin's."

"No!" Regina's eyes practically popped out of her head. "Mal, I don't want to see him!"

"Well tough shit, I'm the driver," replied Mal, keeping her eyes on the road.

Regina glared at her. "Mal… turn this car around."

"No."

"Mal!"

"No!" Slamming her foot on the brake, she brought the car to a screeching halt. "Regina, I refuse to let this night be another thing that you bury and try to forget. Just like graduation, just like Daniel, just like the baby-"

"Shut up!" Regina immediately cut her off. "You damn well know not to bring that up around me, especially not tonight! Not after all of this!"

"You're right, I do know," Mal conceded. "I'm afraid that you don't. It's like you can't even see how much carrying all this shit around has changed you and hurt you. Regina, you have been through so much...and I've watched it all, so I know it started the day he broke up with you." She shook her head. "You finally have a chance to let him know just how much he hurt you. He said his piece. Say yours."

Regina fell back in her seat, shaking her head. "What difference will it make?"

"All the difference in the fucking world," promised Mal. "Believe me. After talking to my mom about all the shit she forced me to go through with my stepdad it was like… I could finally let it go. I didn't know how much I needed her to know."

"That might be true for you, Mal, but it's different with me and Robin." She paused. "He doesn't even know the whole story."

"Doesn't make it any less painful or real," she said softly. "Regina, you have carried around this weight for 10 years. You need to tell him the truth. More importantly you want to."

Regina scoffed, but Mal didn't let up.

"This is the first time you've set foot in this town for a decade. Do you really expect anyone to believe that it wasn't about him?"

"It wasn't!" she protested. "I… I didn't want it to be." Regina growled in frustration. "I wasn't supposed to come home to all this shit. It wasn't supposed to hit me this hard. Neither was he."

"Maybe it wouldn't hit so hard if he finally knew the truth about what happened," Mal suggested.

Regina immediately shook her head. "No. I don't want to talk to him about that. That's… in the past. I just… can't."

Mal nodded understandingly. "Okay,maybe talking about that is too much. But you still need to say something to let him know what happened wasn't okay. If you don't I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Regina's knee start to bounce in the passenger seat. A sure sign that she was truly considering doing as told.

"Okay, fine," she mumbled. "I'll talk to him."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Golden Arrow had always been a safe haven for Robin. His father opened the bar after coming home from the war and never shied away from sharing it with his only son. Some of Robin's earliest memories took place there. He remembered washing dishes in the back as a kid, bussing tables in high school. Hell, he was pretty sure he took his first steps behind the counter.

The bar was the first place he went after his father died. And it was exactly where he found himself after hearing that his high school girlfriend had been pregnant.

He didn't know what to do.

It was after closing and he'd been standing behind the counter for the last 30 minutes, wiping down the same shot glass. After filling it with vodka and then downing it, of course. He considered calling David, but if he called his cousin then he'd take the vodka away, and that was the last thing he wanted right now.

He didn't know what to do next. So he poured another shot. He was halfway to drinking it when the door banged open.

"Regina?"

For a brief moment, he wondered if he'd taken more shots than he remembered. But it was really her. The last time he saw her she'd been crying. Standing in the doorway of his bar, the tears in her eyes had been replaced with daggers. She slammed the door behind her and stalked her way to the counter, every step she took carefully and angrily calculated.

Resting her hands against the counter rail, she shook her head. "You don't get to do this."

He gestured, confusedly. "Do what?"

"Come to me and confess your feelings and your regrets about what happened between us," she said, raising her voice. "You don't get to do that. Not now. Not ever."

He realized there were still tears in her eyes as she spoke but they were shining with anger, not sadness.

"What you did to me was the biggest cruelty I have ever endured from another human being in my entire life," she continued. "You made me feel like an _idiot_ for loving you." She paused for a moment to catch her breath. "You know, I was in bed for days after you said you didn't have feelings for me. It made me doubt for years if anyone really could. And now, after I have finally pulled myself back into something resembling a whole person, you've decided it's time to say that it was all a lie? That all the pain and anguish you sent my way was for my own good?"

She angrily shook her head. "That is shit, Robin! It is complete bullshit! You don't get to frame your decision to put me through hell as some form of romantic self sacrifice. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't love. It wasn't fair to me. And I don't care what your reasons for doing it were. It's something I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for."

She let out a deep breath when she was done, staring at him with expectant eyes. "Well… say something!"

He stood behind the bar, still as a statue while she ranted for him. He'd listened to her entire rant, not saying a word, still in shock that she was here at all. Every word she said hit him like a brick, not one of them untrue. There was a lot he could've said to her. Apologies. Rationalizations. Excuses. But they were all overshadowed by the one question that had haunted him since he'd left the dance.

"Where's our baby, Regina?"

* * *

 ** _If you enjoyed it, please leave a review!_ **


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Welcome back!**_

* * *

"Where's our baby Regina?"

Immediately, her blood ran cold. "What?"

"Where's. Our. Baby?"

Her fingers dug into the bar counter as she gripped it for dear life, knowing the moment she let go her legs wouldn't be able to hold her up.

Meanwhile, Robin poured himself another shot of vodka. "I talked to Cruella at the dance. She was drunk… and chatty." He paused. "I know you were pregnant at graduation. So I am asking… what happened to our baby?"

She couldn't look him in the eyes. If she did, she'd never be able to stop trembling. "You… You don't get to ask me that."

"I don't get - I DON'T GET TO ASK?!"

"NO YOU DON'T GET ASK, ROBIN!" she exploded. "That's what happens when you leave!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Robin stared at her, stunned. "You walk into my bar and yell at my face, call me a liar, call me selfish and I don't get to ask questions?" He came out from behind the bar. "No, that's bullshit. You got answers. I want mine."

"Leave me alone," she ordered, walking away from him. She headed for the door, wanting desperately to just go but she knew that wouldn't be happening. Not with the way, Robin was on her heels.

"I know you were pregnant. Ursula basically confirmed that."

"What?" She whirled around to face him. _Ursula sold her out?_

"So what happened to the baby?" he asked again. "I know you didn't get rid of it. You would never do that."

"Don't pretend you know me," she warned, jabbing a finger in his direction. "You haven't known me in years, Robin."

"Well, that is crystal fucking clear, because the girl I loved would've never hid a child from me!"

"Well, the girl you loved was stupid enough to love you back so what the hell did she know?!" Her voice started to shake as she gritted her teeth, running her fingers through her hair. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and tried to squash them down. This couldn't be happening. "I can't believe I am here, ten years later, still letting you make me feel like I am crazy! Would you just stop?!"

"No, I can't! Because if I have another kid out there, I deserve to know!" he desperately shouted. "So tell me the truth. Did you give them up for adoption? Raise them on your own? You said it wasn't Henry but maybe you lied about that too?"

"Don't talk about my son. He has nothing to do with this," Regina hissed, turning toward the door. She had to get out of there."I'm done. I'm not doing this with you."

He cut off her path to the door. "You are not going anywhere until I learn what happen to my kid! What happened? Where are they?"

"Stop it!" she cried. Her face grew hot and red as he hurled question after question at her. She couldn't answer him. She couldn't talk about it.

"For god's sake, just answer me!" he desperately begged. "Who are they? Where are they? Was it a boy? A girl?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" she screamed. "I don't know… because I lost them." A dam broke inside of her and tears started to well up in her eyes. "I didn't tell you because I lost our baby, okay?"

And just like that all the heat left the room. In its wake, a cold dread seeped from Regina's stomach and spilled into the air. Shuddering as she lowered herself into a chair, she could feel tears falling down her face, one after the other. She let her face fall into her hands, wiping them away. Silently, she wondered just how much heartbreak was she meant to endure that night.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Robin's face had gone white as he sunk into a chair at a different table. "When.. when did it happen?"

"When I was at school," she whispered. "I was five months along. I… I'd started to feel kicks. and I still didn't know what to do. I couldn't make a choice. So God made one for me."

Robin swallowed, absorbing all that she said. Suddenly, his eyes went hard. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Spikes of anger rose under her skin as she slowly turned to glare at him. "Fuck you, Robin!"

The vitriol she felt for him in that moment was enough to bring her to her feet and push her towards the door.

Robin called after apologetically. "Wait, Regina! I'm sorry."

"Yes you really are!" she shot back, wiping the tears from her face. "I am here, crying to you about the worst moment of my entire life and you call me a liar!"

"You know what? Yeah, I did," he replied, with a nod. "But it's been a long time since you've been honest with me. You lied to me about Harvard, you didn't tell me you were pregnant. So I don't know how honest you're being with me right now."

"Well how honest would you like me to be Robin?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Would you like me to tell you how terrified I was when the plus sign showed up? Or do you want to hear about how I woke up one night with blood all over my legs? Or how Mal had to peel me from my bed and take me to the hospital so I could hear the worst news possible? Would you like for me to start from the beginning or the end? Which awful, visceral part will make you believe me more?"

For the last decade she'd done everything in her power to push back the memory of that night. She never expected to mind to regurgitate it like this, in short, hateful spats at the one person she swore she would never tell. It was getting hard to breathe. All she wanted to do was escape but with Robin blocking the door, that hardly felt like an option. So she went for the next best thing.

Alcohol was probably the worst thing to throw into this already emotional moment, but if she didn't get something to calm her down she would explode. While Robin absorbed her words she lifted a bottle of whiskey from the top shelf behind the bar counter. She'd barely finished pouring herself a drink before he joined her.

"You know… I'm not the only one who hid things," she growled at him.

His eyes bugged out of his head. "That's not fair. You cannot compare what I did to what you kept from me."

"You said you didn't love me!" she reminded him. "You called me a burden and said being around me would be too much work. How the hell was I supposed to talk to you after that?"

"You should've found a way! No matter how badly I hurt you or how scared you were. It was my kid and you should've found a way."

"And what difference would that have made? I still would've lost the baby, we still would've been broken up. What would've changed?!"

"Everything would've changed because I would've been there!" he cried. "If you had told me, I would've known and I would've been there."

Her heart clenches at the sincerity she sees in his eyes. Gripping her glass of whiskey, she scrunches her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Robin… I tried, okay? I started dozens of letters. I picked up the phone a million times but I could never say the words. I didn't know how… and that's the truth."

He looked at her and she could see the hurt shining in his blue eyes. "I can't believe you kept that from me all this time."

"Well now you know the whole truth." She shrugged. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

Robin's jaw clenched at her words and guilt swirled in her stomach. She sniffed, dropping her gaze down to the whiskey in her hand, wishing she could drown in it. Heavy silence surrounded them, quickly becoming unbearable.

Regina set her drink on the counter, not wanting it any longer. "I'm going home. Please let me."

She crept from behind the bar counter and headed for the door, relieved when she didn't hear him following her.

As soon as she walked out of the Golden Arrow, a cold gust of wind hit her as did the realization of what had just happened. Robin knew the truth… about everything.

She walked home, arms wrapped around herself, replaying every moment of their conservation. The fiery indignation she had when it started, the chilling dread when he'd asked about their baby and the emotional wreckage when she'd told him the truth. By the time she got home, she'd run through it a million times.

Yet, it was only when she was in the safety of her own bed, in her childhood room that the tears finally started to fall. Muffling her sobs with a pillow, she cried over the pain of her past, wondering if it would ever truly stop haunting her.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So what do you think happens next? Leave a review and let me know!** _


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Welcome back!**_

* * *

Mornings in Storybrooke were always beautiful. No matter the weather, no matter the season it was impossible not to enjoy the stillness that fell across the town in its early hours. Even if the night that preceded it was less than a dream.

Regina had woken up before anyone else that morning. After peeking in on Henry and her father, she'd gone to the bathroom to find her eyes puffy and red-rimmed. Reminders of her argument with Robin. She'd tried not to dwell on it - rinsing her face with cold water and moving on to her tea - but she knew it'd be a long while before she got over what happened.

Sitting on the porch of her childhood home, a rapidly-cooling mug of tea in her hands, Regina thought back to the night she'd had just hours ago. The screaming accusations she and Robin had hurled at each other, the tears that had run down her cheeks and truths that had finally come to light. It all seemed so… loud. Especially in the quiet hours of the morning.

Why had she told him the truth? Why did her tell her his? Why had these unpleasant realities chosen this particular weekend to rear their ugly heads?

Looking back, she supposed it was inevitable. She'd vowed a long time ago never to tell Robin about their baby but the minute she saw his face that first night back, she'd known he'd find out somehow. The question was… how does she move forward now that the truth is out?

As she took another sip of her tea, she sees a car coming down the road. Even from a distance she can see that it's Mal's Prius. Silently, she prays that her eyes still aren't as puffy as they feel.

After pulling into the driveway, Mal steps out of the car, sunglasses still on and a thermos full of what Regina knows is black coffee. Yawning, she brushes her blond hair away from her face and nods to her.

"You look like shit."

"Thank you so much," Regina sarcastically replies.

Mal is not a morning person. It's one of the few things about her that hasn't changed in all their years of friendship. So Regina allows her a snide comment or two, knowing the only reason she would get up this early is to lend support.

Mal sits next to hear, groaning as she lowers herself onto the creaky porch steps. "Take it you had a rough night?"

Regina shook her head. "It certainly wasn't the best, no." Trying to change the subject, she brought up the other half of their quartet. "Where are Ursula and Carlotta?"

"Banished," Mal replied, with a smirk. "Ursula called and told me how chatty Carlotta got with Robin at the dance. I suggested they disappear before you got a hold of them. They took off half an hour ago."

Regina chuckled, wryly. "Yeah well, they can run but they can't hide."

With all the emotions swirling about her the night before, she hadn't really processed the fact that Ursula and Carlotta were the ones to tell Robin about her pregnancy. She was sure that one day she'd find it in her to be angry about that betrayal. At the moment it was hardly her top priority.

Mal anxiously tapped the side of her thermos. "So… how'd he take it?"

"Not well," Regina softly replied. As the sun continued to rise over the horizon, she told Mal everything that had happened after she'd gone to confront Robin. Her letting out all the feelings she's held in since their breakup, him asking about the baby, not believing her when she finally told him. The whole time Mal listened with wide eyes, silently absorbing everything she said. When there was nothing more to tell, her lips parted with awe. "Wow…"

"Yeah…"

Pausing for a beat, Mal asked. "How do you feel?"

"I can't even begin to answer that." Regina pressed her lips together, trying to take stock of all her emotions. "Last night I felt angry and sad but now… I think I'm just numb from it all."

Mal nodded understandingly. "Think you'll talk to him again?"

Regina's head whipped toward her as she scoffed. "Why? So I can have one last screaming match for the road?"

"Of course not. I'm just don't think either of you got what you needed last night," she reasoned.

"What I needed?"

"Yes," Mal insisted. "You both had huge reactions but were either of you really listening to what that had to say? I mean, you were emotional and he was drinking. After everything that's come out, is that really how you want the conversation to end?"

"I didn't even want the conversation to start, Mal." Regina huffed, growing irritated. "I never wanted him to know anything."

"Well, he does now and you can't change that." Checking the time, she sighed. "Look, we leave here this afternoon. If you never want to talk to Robin again, that's your business. But you've got a little over seven hours before we head out. If there was ever a time to bury this particular hatchet… it's now."

Regina sighed, dropping her gaze down to the tea in her hands. Last night was one of the worst of her life but she still couldn't shake the feeling that she'd left things unfinished. It'd taken her ten years to allow herself to even get near Robin. Did she want to take another decade to talk to him again?

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The sun warmed Robin's cheek as he sat by the kitchen window watching his son devour a bowl of Coco Puffs. Two pieces of buttered toast sat on the plate in front of him but he hadn't taken a single bite. His appetite vanished after last night.

Though he was still and silent in the face of his four year old, Robin was still shaken up over his fight with Regina. And all the revelations that came with it.

When he'd woken up that morning, he felt like a stranger in his own reality. All those years he spent building a life - getting married, having a son, maintaining a business - he'd lost a child without knowing it. The realization put questions marks on every aspect of his life.

If he'd known about the baby what would've changed? Would he still be here in this house, in this town living this life? Would he still have fallen in love with Marian five years ago? Would their son have even been born?

Roland slurps up the leftover chocolate milk from his cereal, leaving a brown milk mustache over his upper lip. Robin smirks, amused. Seconds later, he wonders if the child Regina lost would've liked Coco Puffs? Or chocolate milk?

What would they have looked like? What would've been their name? Who could they have been?

And how much of his life could've been undone or improved by their existence?

"Papa, why are you staring?"

Pulled back into the moment, Robin shook his head. "No reason, son."

Roland narrowed his eyes, pushing back his now empty bowl. "Grandma Ruth says it's rude to stare."

"Grandma Ruth is right. I'm sorry," he grumbled with a sigh, rubbing his hand against his eye. They were still dry after the tears and vodka from last night.

"Papa are you okay? You look sad."

Robin tried to force a smile to his face but could tell by the look in Roland's eyes that it was a losing battle. Instead, he dropped his chin into his hand and shrugged. "I'm okay, son. I just didn't have a very good night."

Roland tilted his head thoughtfully before hopping out of his chair and wrapping his arms around his father's middle, squeezing him tight. "Do you feel better now? Grandma Ruth says that hugs chase away sadness."

Robin's heart stuttered at his son's innocent display of compassion. He yearned to live in a world as simple as Roland's. One where grief and sadness could be thwarted with just an earnest hug from a child who loved you. Unfortunately, he left that world a long time ago.

He pulled Roland into his lap and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You're a sweet kid, you know that?" Running his fingers through his son's curls, he allowed himself a genuine smile. "I'm really glad I have you."

Giving him another kiss, he sent him to get ready for his trip to the zoo with David and Mary-Margaret. His cousin and in-law were always keen to take his son off his hands. Normally he would welcome it but he knew getting through today would be that much harder without Roland around to take his mind off things.

Two hours later, he dropped his son off at David's house. On the way back he tried to mentally go through all the projects he'd been putting off at home. Painting the window panes, clearing the gutters, power cleaning the driveway. He'd do it all as long as it kept his mind off-

"Regina?"

His grip on the steering wheel tightened when he pulled into his driveway and saw her waiting on his porch. Before he even caught his breath, her eyes locked with his through the windshield. A part of him wanted to hit the reverse right then. Back out of the driveway and disappear into the horizon. Maybe he would have if not for the look on her face.

Sighing, he put his truck in park. Cowardice wasn't an option today.

It was time to face her.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review if you liked it! Thanks!** _


	19. Chapter 19

**_A/N: Robin and Regina finally talk._**

* * *

Sometimes Regina wishes she had different friends. Bad ones. Ones that would support her poor choices and allow her to run away from the things that scare her. Unfortunately, she didn't have bad friends. She had Mal. And after one talk with her, she was driving to Robin's house to finally have the conversation she'd put off for the last decade.

She rang his doorbell only to have no one answer. For a second, she thought she'd actually dodged a bullet. If he wasn't home there was nothing she could do except leave and try again in another ten years. Then his truck pulled into the driveway.

They locked eyes through his windshield and her mouth went dry. She realized she had no idea what she wanted to say to him. Only that what she'd said the night before wasn't it.

Her stomach twisted in knots when he'd climbed out of his truck and walked past her to the door. "If you're here for round two, I really don't have the energy today."

"I'm not here to fight," she replied, ignoring the sting of his apparent indifference. "I think I got my fair share of that last night. Don't you?"

Robin sighed, leaving his hand on the door knob as he turned to face her. She realized he looked as tired as she felt. "What do you want, Regina?"

"I want to talk, Robin. Actually talk." She crossed her arms, feeling vulnerable. 'I don't want last night to be… how the conversation ends." _Or how we end_ , she silently adds.

He searches her face for a moment before opening the front door. "Come in, then."

It'd been years since she'd last stepped foot in Robin's house. She'd heard through the grapevine that he'd inherited it from his father and lived there since his death. Though the bones were the same, the skin of the place had changed. The ancient floral wallpaper was torn down, replaced with pale green paint. The old sofa was long gone and so was his father's favorite lazyboy. One thing that remained the same was pictures. The frames still hung on the walls and displayed in a china cabinet. She recognized more than a few of them but also noticed the new additions. Some of Robin in his older years, Roland's younger ones. A few of them both with his deceased wife Marian. Shame rose in her cheeks when she felt the heavy weight of _what if_ tugging at her stomach yet again.

"The place has changed a lot," she muttered under her breath.

"Yeah… a lot of things have," he replied. Gesturing toward the living room sofa, he offers her a seat. With an ocean of space between them, they both take a seat. Robin looks at her expectantly but her words are caught in her throat. An awkward silence falls over them as she wrings her hands unsure of what to say first.

"Look Robin, I have been thinking about last night and everything that happened," she started. "You were really cruel and unfair to me. And I am still furious about a lot of the things you said to me but… I also want to apologize about things that were said to you." She paused to look him in the eye. "Losing our baby was the saddest thing that's ever happened to me. I don't like to talk about it or think about it, and sharing it with others isn't something I ever planned on doing with anyone… not even you. I didn't want to tell you what happened because I didn't think it mattered after you broke up with me. But I know first hand how hard it is to hear news like this. And if you were ever going to learn what happened with the baby you should've learned it from me, not somebody else. It wasn't what you deserved and it was not what I wanted for you. And for that, I am truly sorry."

She waited with bated breath for Robin's reaction but he just sat still for a moment, arms crossed, his gaze fixed on the carpet beneath their feet. Studying his face, she watched his steely resolve slowly and subtly shatter. "Are you okay?"

"I…" His voice broke and he took a deep breath. "I am a million things right now but I don't think okay is one of them. I got hit with something huge last night and I don't even know how to feel about it."

"Well, you're not the only one," she reminded him, crossing her arms. She might've apologized first but she refused to let him forget about his lakeside confession.

"I realize that," he admitted, rubbing his brow in frustration. "And you were right, it wasn't fair for me to bring it up after all these years. But it happened. We know things now. And I am torn between feeling like it changes nothing and feeling like it changes everything."

Regina shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Okay, that's fair."

"I'm sorry I called you a liar last night," he mumbled. "That was shitty of me and I don't think you lied. I never did. I believed what you said the moment you said it. And I… even understand why you didn't tell me about what happened. But I am still angry about it. Mostly at me, not at you, because I thought I was doing the right thing when I broke up with you. And now I feel like that's not true."

"Robin," she scoffed, digging her fingernails into her arm, "even if I hadn't been pregnant, it wouldn't have made what you did _the right thing_." She paused. "You broke my heart."

"I did and I am sorry but you were the one who was keeping things from me."

"Why would I tell you anything after you obliterated me right after gradua-"

"I am not talking about the pregnancy! I am talking about Harvard," he interjected.

"Harvard?"

"Yes," he hissed. "I found that letter in your purse and I waited for weeks for you to come to me about it. The entire time I had knots in my stomach until I realized… you were never going to bring it up."

Her jaw dropped as she thought back to those last few weeks of high school and remembered how distant he'd acted. She'd thought he'd just been worried about his father. Turns out he'd been waiting on her.

"I was going to tell you. I just… it was complicated," she stammered. "And what does it matter? It was my choice."

"It was your choice… but it was also my life," he stressed. "Regina… it was always clear that you were somewhat out of my league."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please..."

"No, it was true," he gently continued. "You were smarter than me, you had bigger goals and bigger dreams than I ever did. It's… why I loved you." He let out a heavy breath. "And I guess I always knew my dreams were never gonna be as big but that was okay. All that mattered to me was that I wasn't the guy that held you back. And I felt like you were about to make me that guy."

The tears that had been welling up in her eyes finally spilled down to her cheeks as she listened. "I.. why didn't you talk to me?"

He shrugged, getting equally upset. "I don't know. I… was young. I was stupid and sad and reckless and… I felt like I didn't have any other choice."

"So… you lied?"

"Yeah, I lied." He nodded. "If it was a choice between me and your dreams, I didn't want you to choose me. I couldn't walk around with that on my head."

Regina's breath grew shaky as she listened to Robin's explanation of their break-up. For the first time, she had a clear picture of that day at the lake after graduation. Where she once saw a callous, cruel boy who cared nothing for her, she now looked back to see a scared kid who didn't know how to do better or what the reality of his choice even meant.

Rubbing her hands together, she sighed. "It wasn't just about you Robin. Yes, I wanted to stay and be with you while your dad was sick but… two days after I got that letter I realized I was pregnant."

"Oh.."

"Yeah…"

Robin scrunched his eyes closed in confusion. "That was weeks before graduation. Why didn't you tell me?"

She softly chuckled against her will, remembering the pounding terror that had sat in her chest near the end of their relationship. So many questions and fears had been swirling in her head. The fact that she even made it to graduation was a miracle.

"I don't know… I think I wasn't ready to face it yet," she sadly replied. "I saw that pink plus sign and all I wanted to do was hide from everything. The pregnancy, Harvard… I wasn't ready to think about what it all meant for my future."

Robin's face fell. "And then I broke up with you."

She nodded. "You broke up with me and everything just… crashed."

He softly fell back against the couch, letting his chin rest on the palm of his hand. "Wow…"

Again silence fell over them, broken only by the gently ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway. As Regina listened to it, she thought about their breakup and all the days that came after it. All the tiny and big decisions she made, as well as the ones he made. And for the first time in years, she allowed herself to really think about how differently things could've turned out if either of them had made a different choice.

What if Robin hadn't broken up with her at the lake? What if she'd chosen to tell him about the letter when it came? What if she'd told him she was pregnant? What if he'd actually talked to her about his insecurities? How different could things have been?

It was a full minute before either of them spoke again.

"Do you hate me?" Robin asked.

She looked up, startled by his question. Her heart clenched in her chest when she saw the fear in his eyes.

"That day at the lake… I thought I was protecting you," he mumbled. "I thought it was okay for me hurt you because at least I was hurting me at the same time but… If you hate me now, I wouldn't blame you."

"I… did. I hated you for a very long time, Robin. But I also missed you more than I missed anyone in my entire life." She paused, feeling herself getting choked up. "The whole time I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was call you but I was so scared you wouldn't even pick up." Tears were running down her face. "You left me so alone."

"I'm sorry, Regina," he apologized. "I mean it. I am completely and eternally sorry for hurting you. You were the love of my life, the absolute last person I wanted to cause any pain and I am sorry. I'm sorry for not being there when you were pregnant and… I'm sorry I wasn't there the night you lost the baby. It was the worst night of your life, it involved me and… you may not hate me for not being there anymore but I think it'll be a very long time before I don't."

She nodded solemnly, studying his face. It was as if he'd aged five years in the last ten minutes.

"How… how did it happen?"

Her chest goes tight and so does her throat. Her voice is raspy when she answers, "It was spontaneous. There was no fall or accident. I just felt this pain very suddenly… the doctor said there was nothing I could've done."

Sorrow passes over his eyes and her hand finds his. She holds it tight, letting it ground her in the moment. "You being there wouldn't have stopped anything."

He presses his lips together before nodding in acceptance. "Were we ever really good together?"

She tilts her head at him and he helplessly shakes his head. "All these years when I look back on us, on our relationship… it was one of the best of my life. I loved you. You're the person who taught me what it meant to love someone and now we're here, ten years later, talking about the past and learning we hid things from each other, lied to each other. Neither of us had any faith…" He sighs heavily. "It just makes me wonder. Was it all nostalgia and rose-colored glasses?"

It was a question she'd asked herself a hundred times after they broke up. Had it all been her imagination? Had she thought him to be kinder than he really was? More caring and attentive? Had it all been in her head? Every time she came to the same conclusion.

"No, it wasn't just nostalgia," she wistfully replied. "I remember us. I remember you picking me up in your truck for school every day. You were the first person I went to every time my parents fought or my mom picked at me. You kept me from pulling my hair out when I applied to colleges and making me laugh every single day. The way I felt about you… I don't think I've felt that way about anyone since."

It's the scariest thing in the world to her. The idea that she'll never love anyone the way she loved him. That she'll never feel as happy and safe with someone as she did with him every moment before graduation.

"We were good Robin. Better than good, even. We were magic, once." She allowed herself a small smile. "That's what made the ending so confusing. God, what happened to us, Robin?"

"I think we became adults," he whispered. "I mean, we were so young and all that shit got thrown at us at once and we just…"

"Crumbled," she sadly finished, shaking her head. "We didn't stand a chance, did we?"

As soon as she said the words, she knew they were true. Between his dad's cancer, her pregnancy and the weight of the future hanging over both of their heads their end had been inevitable.

Moving closer to her, he mumbled, "You know, losing you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I don't think I ever really forgave myself for it."

The sincerity in his blue eyes pierces her soul. Despite putting it off for so long, she'd imagined this conversation a thousand times. Sometimes she imagined herself feeling superior when she finally reamed him out for their break up, other times she imagined feeling two feet tall after letting him know about her miscarriage. But now that she was here actually talking to him about everything that happened between them she only felt… less alone in her hurt.

"Do you… do you think we could've done it?" he asked. "If things had turned out differently and I hadn't lost the baby… do you think we could've been parents?"

"No." She immediately shakes her head. "I want to say that we would've done our best and made it work but Robin… we were kids."

A soft chuckle falls from his lips as he nods in agreement. "I know. I'm trying to picture 19-year-old me with a baby and… I shudder. I wouldn't have trusted me back then."

"I wouldn't have trusted me either," she softly replied. Pausing, she added, "Sometimes… I think about it though. Our baby. What might've been."

"I would've been there for you," he says. "No matter when you told me, before graduation or after you left. I would've tried my best to take care of you."

"I know you would've." She nods. "And I thought about it a lot. So many times. The two of us going to ultrasounds, figuring out daycare and potty training, all the different things we'd do for our daughter."

His eyebrows rose. "Daughter? Did you…"

"No!" She shakes her head, feeling embarrassment rise in her cheeks. "I didn't have the chance to find out. I just always had this feeling that it was a girl. I still can't shake it."

She tries to shrug as if it doesn't matter but the murky image of the baby girl they could've had is one that has haunted her ever since the miscarriage. For a long time, all she saw when she closed her eyes was a little girl with dark hair and his eyes. She'd never been able to picture anything else. And she would never find out if she was right or not.

"A girl would've been nice," Robin whispered.

"Yeah… it would've been."

They both go silent, taking a moment to picture what could've been. Deep down, Regina knows raising a baby at 19 would've derailed her life in so many ways. Still, there were moments where she can't help thinking about the life she'd missed out on. Not her life but her child's. Through rose-colored glasses she imagines what it would have been like to have a daughter and to raise her with Robin's help. After everything they'd talked about, she can't stop herself from including him in the picture. They wouldn't have been able to handle being parents together. But maybe they could've handled being a family?

She can feel herself falling down an emotional rabbit hole and mentally claws her way out of it. Imagining all the different ways things could've turned out was painful and pointless. Especially when it came to Robin. Their story was finished now. The time had come to let him go.

It was then she realized that she was still holding his hand.

"I should go." She pulled her hand back into her lap, her palm still burning from his touch. "It's a long way back to Boston and I should get ready."

Something akin to disappointment shone in his eyes as he nodded. "Of course. I'll walk you out."

"Sure." She wrung her hands as they made their way to the door. Walking through the hallway it struck her that this might be the last time she would ever be in Robin's house. Possibly, the last time she would ever talk to him at all.

Turning to face him, she says "I know none of this was easy about but… I'm really glad I got to talk to with you, Robin. It meant everything."

"Thanks," he replied. He hesitated before adding. "I hope this isn't the last time you come to town. A lot of people here miss you."

She softly chuckled. Unsure if that was true, she started to shake her head but then she looked in his eyes and saw the honesty in them. It hadn't been just anybody who missed her. It was him.

He held open his arms and she stepped into them, just like she'd done a hundred times before in the past. Her face fell into the crook of his neck as he pulled her close. It was meant to be a goodbye hug but they let it linger. She kept her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. It seemed crazy but she could swear he smelled just like he used to in high school. An alluring mixture of pine and nostalgia. His hands slowly drifted down her back, sending shivers down her back.

When she pulled back she fully intended to let him go and walk out of his life for the second time.

But then she looked into his eyes…

She couldn't tell you who kissed who. Maybe she kissed him, maybe he kissed her, maybe they kissed each other. It hardly mattered. All she knew was that her lips were against his. Hesitant at first, with the lightest brush of his lips against her own. Then eager, a slight pause giving way to a rush of passion, she'd thought was long buried. The scruff around his jaw passed against her skin - a reminder of the man he'd become - and she softly moaned against her will.

Warmth pools between her thighs as she's brought back languid kisses traded beneath the stars. His hands travel down to her hips and she remembers the first night he ever touched her like this, how it felt, how much it meant to her.

Her breath catches in her throat as Robin suddenly pulls back, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean.."

"Don't apologize." She subtly licks her lips, already missing the taste of him. "It wasn't all you."

The air between them grew thick as they paused, staring into each other's eyes. Regina could tell he knew as much as she did that what would happen next wasn't a good idea. But she also knew that it didn't matter. Because even after ten years apart kissing him still felt like home.

Robin stepped closer to her again, bringing his hand up to caress her cheek. When he looked down at her, she saw something like love in his eyes. "I really missed you," he whispered.

It's him who kisses her this time, tilting her head up and bring her lips to his. She turns to putty when they touch, trying to remember the last time she'd ever been treated so tenderly. Her tongue slipped past his lips, wanting to taste him in every way possible.

It's all the permission he needs before letting himself devour her once more. In one swift second he wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet, never once breaking their kiss. Before she realizes she's in his room, on his bed, lying on her back with him on top of her. Memories of nights spent under the stars in the bed of his pickup swirls in her head as his lips fall to neck. She feels like a teenager again in the best way.

The skirt of her sundress falls to her hips as she hikes her leg up against his torso. He feels firmer than she remembers, stronger. Her hands go up and down his back, feeling the muscles under his shirt move beneath her palms. She wonders if she feels different to him. She must. She's older, still in good shape but perhaps a little doughier than she'd been in high school. Any insecurities she carries are swept away with each assurance of her beauty that he whispers in her ear.

They take their time exploring each other. Undressing, touching, and kissing each other's bodies they discover things that have changed, things that haven't. He kisses his way down her neck, past her breasts and stomach, straight to the valley between her thighs, praising every inch of her as he goes. She sees stars as he works on her, unable to stop her cries of pleasure from reaching past the bedroom walls.

When he's finally inside of her, she never wants to let him go. Her fingers dig into his back, pulling him closer to her. Being with him feels different than it did before. The timidity of their youth is gone, replaced with a bold eagerness that they're now old enough to appreciate. It's better, easier and - though she'd never admit it clothed - exactly what she needs. She comes with his chest against her own and his voice in her ear, softly begging for her to let go. He follows not long after.

They fall back into the sheets - spent, satisfied and silent. As the haze of pleasure fades from both their minds, the realization of what just happened sinks in. Neither of them speak a word. Regina bites her lip, pulling the sheets further up her chest. _Oh..._

This certainly hadn't been the plan when she'd come over. She was only supposed to talk to him, hopefully get a little closer in the process. Falling into bed with him had not been part of the deal. She subtly sneaks a look at Robin. He looks just as lost in thought as she is. A small part of her is relieved that she's not the only one baffled by what they'd allowed to happen.

Like a movie their entire relationship played on a reel in her head. From meeting to breakup to reunion. She saw all the love and the heartbreak and the secrets. When it was over, she turned her head, finally able to look him in the eye, and did the most unexpected thing.

She laughed.

It started small, with giggles that she tried to hide behind her hand as he stared at her in bewilderment, until it erupted into unstoppable belly laughs that brought tears to her eyes.

A cautious smile tugged on Robin's lips. "Something funny?"

"Not at all." She shook her head, still unable to hold her laughter in. "It's just" - she giggled - "this is so stupid, I think I'm cracking up." She paused, gripping his shoulder trying to ground herself back in the moment. "I mean, we have a horrific break up, we don't speak for ten years and then we unload all this traumatic shit on each other and then have sex? Oh god…" She laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. "Seriously, the only thing that could make this a worse decision is …"

"If it happened in the back of my pick-up?" he supplied, chuckles starting to bubble in the back of his throat.

Regina started cracking up again, as she nodded. "Insane!"

She fell back into the pillows, her laughter softly subsiding as Robin joined her. Taking a deep breath she finally quieted down, turning on her side to stare into his thoughtful eyes. "What are we doing?"

He shrugged, tracing a finger down her arm. "Surrendering to the nostalgia?"

Chuckling, she allowed herself an easy smile. "I guess that would be the nice way to put it." Running her fingers through her hair, she sighed, still not believing that she'd let herself fall into bed with Robin Locksely… again. She could say that it hadn't been planned but neither had anything that happened this weekend. At least this time she was smart enough to have an IUD.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern clear in his voice as he sat up on his elbow to study her face. "You know you had that exact same look in your eyes after our first time. Like you're trying to figure out whether or not you regret something."

She awkwardly hummed, a blush rising in her cheek at the memory of that night. "Regret isn't the word for what I'm feeling. I think I'm leaning more toward astonishment."

He grinned wickedly at her. "Is that a compliment?"

She snickered at his smugness. "No… though you have improved in certain areas."

"Thanks," he chuckled. "I've had a few years to practice. Also helps when we're not in the bed of an old truck."

"I can't believe that was our go to place," she whispered. "We were bold."

"We were desperate," he corrected. "Because my dad was always home and your mother didn't allow me in the house."

"That's right," she said, nodding. "We had to get creative." They had been so eager back in their youth, foolish and reckless, throwing all caution to the wind. A part of her missed that feeling, though she supposed she hadn't lost it entirely. She was here, after all.

She sits up on her elbow, reaching out to stroke the scruff around his chin. "I'm okay, Robin. I promise."

Leaning in, she kisses him again, allowing herself to melt into the moment. She lingers, feeling warm all over and safe again. It wasn't fair for things to feel this right. Not when it wasn't able to last.

Pulling back, she rests her forehead against his. "I have to go back to Boston."

"I know," he whispers back. They both stay quiet, unwilling to leave the bubble they'd created but knowing that it will inevitably burst.

Before either of them could speak, a soft ringing breaks the silence. Her cellphone. Struggling to keep the sheet above her chest, she sits up. Where did she leave it? It buzzes once again and she realizes it must've fallen to the floor when Robin carried her in the room. Finding it next to the foot of the bed, she answers it without looking. "Hello?"

"Hey mom, when are you coming back?" Henry answers her without preamble and her heart clenches. "Aunt Mal says we have to leave soon and you're burning daylight."

She grins at the way he parrots her best friend's words. Glancing behind her, she can see that Robin has already started to get dressed. Her eyes stay on him as she speaks. "Tell her I'll be back soon. I'm almost done here."

"Okay," Henry drawls, uncertainly. "Oh, can you pick me up a snack on the way? I want something for the drive home."

"I promise I will," she replies, before wishing him goodbye. After hanging up she sits on the bed for a moment, letting her mind wander. In a few hours she'd be driving back to the city with Henry. It suddenly strikes her that there is life beyond this town, beyond this reunion, beyond this gorgeously familiar man who she just got out of bed with. After today nothing that happened here would matter, not really. In the end, she'd go back to her real life. Surprisingly, the thought of it didn't make her sad at all. She realized she was looking forward to going home and resuming the life she'd worked so hard to build. It was a good one. She deserved it.

Turning to Robin, she softly mumbled, "They're waiting on me."

He nodded, sadly. "Yeah, I thought so."

She dresses in private. Robin stands out in the hall, leaving the bedroom to her. It seems moot after what just happened, but she's grateful for the privacy.

Everything happened so fast, she hadn't realized he'd moved into the main room of the house. She'd never been in before. When they were teenagers, she mostly spent time in his room (door always open per his father's instructions). A smile tugs on her lips as she remembers his old comforter and the sports posters taped to his wall. It's probably all gone now, moved out to make room for his own son. Minutes ago it'd felt like no time had passed at all between them. Now, she's standing in his adult bedroom wondering when they'd both decided to grow up.

He quietly walks her to her car and she can tell he's struggling to figure out what exactly to say to her. Opening her door she turns to him, surprisingly calm and settled. "So… guess this is goodbye?"

"Looks like it," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It'd be really nice if wasn't forever this time."

She smiles, wishing she could promise him that it wouldn't be. But after everything that came out this weekend, she knew they were long past lying to each other.

Sighing, she dropped her gaze to the ground. "Robin breaking up with me was a shitty thing for you to do but it happened, so did… _other things_ and, as awful as it was, I don't want you to carry guilt over it because… I'm okay." She nodded, hopefully. "I really like my life. I'm glad I went to Harvard. I'm glad I got to be a lawyer and I'm really glad I adopted my son. If things had turned out differently I might never have met him and I don't think I want to live a life where I'm not Henry's mother. I'm happy with where I ended up. And I want you to be happy too."

She meant every word of it. If she never spoke to Robin again after this moment, she didn't want him carrying the weight of what happened between them over his head for the rest of his life. He deserved better than that.

"I'm glad you're happy, Regina." He smiles. "That's all I've ever wanted for you."

This time it's easy to let go when she hugs him. There's no pain or longing to carry with her when it ends. As she drives away from his home and starts the journey back to her own, her eyes flicker toward his reflection in the rearview mirror. Her heart thumps, approvingly. It's a good feeling, knowing that she's finally able to wish him well.

After all, he is her first love and she is his.

No amount of pain, secrets or time will ever change that.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Alright, the next chapter will be the final one and epilogue. Let me know what you think and leave a review!_ **


	20. Epilogue

_**A/N: Alright! Here we are at the epilogue! Thanks for sticking with this story, I've had so much fun writing it. As always please leave a review! Farewell!  
**_

* * *

 _ **10 Years Later…**_

On the day of her Storybrooke High 20-year class reunion Regina sat on the New York subway, more certain than ever that she'd made the right decision in not going. Her heart had stuttered when the invitation showed up in the mail two months prior. She'd held onto it for a full day, musing on whether or not to attend. It'd been years since she last stepped foot in Storybrooke, though a certain blue-eyed resident crossed her mind more often than not. In the end she'd tossed the invitation into the trash. The last reunion had been emotional enough. There was no need for a sequel.

The train pulled into the next station as she fiddled with her phone, silently debating whether it would make her a helicopter parent to call Henry for the third time that week. The doors slid open and people flooded into the car. A flash of blond hair bobbed through the sea of bodies and a little girl appeared in front of her, anxiously eyeing the empty seat where she'd sat her purse.

"Can I sit there?" she sheepishly asked.

Regina nodded, sliding over as she moved her briefcase to her lap. Silently, she wondered what a girl so young was doing by herself. However, the girl wasn't as alone as she appeared.

"Daddy, I found a seat!"

"Regina?"

Time slowed. It'd been ten years since she last heard it but she'd know that voice anywhere. When she looked up she was staring into the same pair of blue eyes that had made her heart flutter in high school. "Robin?"

He was older, grayer with the beginnings of worry lines starting to carve their way into his forehead but it was still Robin standing before her. And just like always, the simple sight of him took her breath away.

They must've looked like a pair of fools on the subway, staring at each other with their jaw dropped. After what feels like an eternity, a chuckle of disbelief falls from Robin's lips as he pulls them into a smile.

"Hi."

"Hi."

 ** _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**

This had been the last possible way Robin ever expected to end his day. It was after 5 p.m. and out of sheer happenstance he was on the subway with his seven-year-old daughter in his lap and his high school girlfriend in the seat next to him.

He tried to force the smile on his face to fade away, thinking about the moment two months ago when he'd found an invitation to their 20-year high school reunion in his mailbox. One look and he knew he wasn't going. Though a certain dark-haired classmate had crossed his mind, there was no way for him to make it work with his schedule. Ever since that moment, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Regina. Where she was? How was she doing? If she thought of him?

He supposed it was his subconscious doing its best to prepare him for the moment she appeared in his life again.

They'd smiled at each other in shock when they realized who they were face to face with. His daughter, Margot, had pulled him into the seat next to Regina, the only corner of their triangle unphased by the palpable tension. Neither of them had spoken a word since. He can't tell if it's because they have too much or too little to say.

She still looks beautiful. Sneaking looks at her from the corner of his eye, he notices all the small things that have changed about her and they take his breath away. Her hair is longer now, falling down to meet her shoulder blades. He spots one, two, three strands of gray hair mingling with the black but he's sure there's more. Dressed in a black pantsuit and silk shirt, she has her briefcase set in her lap and he can see her fingers digging a little harder than necessary into its leather. This must be the professional version of her, he thinks. A far cry from the jeans and summer dresses he last saw her in.

There's only one stop until he and Margot reach their destination. He turns to her, knowing he has to say something.

"So… have you ever been to Hyperion Books?"

 _ **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

God, she can't believe she's doing this. She's actually going to the bookstore with Robin and his daughter. She can't even believe that he has a daughter. Margot is her name, uttered ever so confidently with a firm handshake to boot. Blonde hair and blue eyes she is every bit Robin's daughter, painfully so.

She chatters on and on about the bookstore as they walk from the subway and Regina is grateful. As long as Margot's speaking, she can stay silent. Once they arrive at the shop, she can see why Margot and Robin are so taken with the place. Hundreds of small paper cranes were hung from the ceiling with wire and clouds with silver linings were painted on the light blue walls. It was like stepping into a bookshop in the sky.

"Well, this place is enchanting," Regina softly marvels, still taken with the paper cranes. Robin and Margot guide her to a charming, two-table cafe in the back corner of the store. She spies chocolate chip cookies on sale at the counter. Margot zeroes in on them as well, with her father already passing her a stack of crumpled ones.

Cookie in hand, she looks up at him. "Place?"

"Greece," Robin easily replies. "And I want to hear about the ruins, not just the beaches."

"Fine," she whines, with a roll of her eyes. And just like that she's off browsing through the stacks.

Regina raises an eyebrow at Robin as they settle at one of the cafe tables. "Greece?"

He smiles, sheepishly. "Travel books. She wants to take a trip after her eighteenth birthday. Figures ten years is just enough time to figure out where to go."

"That's sweet." She pauses for a moment, dropping her gaze to her hands. "So…"

"So…"

Sneaking shy looks at each other, they both softly chuckle. "Our 20th high school reunion," she breathes. "You didn't go."

"Neither did you."

She shook her head. "The invitation is rotting in my trash as we speak. Yours?"

"Resting in pieces after a fight with my shredder." He laughs at the shocked look in her eye. "The shredder was a birthday gift from Roland. I use it way more often than needed."

"What are the odds?" she wonders aloud. Her eyebrows pinch together in confusion and awe.

"I mean… you left Storybrooke?"

He nods. "I did. About 2 years ago, Roland got accepted to a science program at this ritzy private school in Newark. It's a great school and a good opportunity for him education wise so… how could I say no?"

She can't help it, she's stunned. It never once crossed her mind that Robin could actually leave Storybrooke. It was his home. Picturing him anywhere else hardly seemed possible. Let alone that he'd move so close to New York. "Must've been a culture shock for you."

He shrugs. "I'm adjusting to city life. It's harder to sleep at night with all the noise but we're all getting along okay." He pauses. "What about you? When'd you get here?"

"Five years ago," she confidently replied. It felt even further back now that he'd arrived. "I'd gotten a job offer at a firm in the city. Henry and I have loved it here ever since."

"And how is Henry?" he asked. "He's graduated by now, right?"

"He has. He is out of the house, enjoying his time in college… at Yale."

Robin whistles sharply at the slight bitterness in her tone. "So he chose not to be a Harvard man?"

She rolls her eyes, chuckling. "I would be hurt by it but he picked Yale because it is much closer to me. His words, not mine. And I am very proud of him."

"Still won't wear the Yale blue though, will you?

"Not a chance in hell," she mutters.

Robin's laughter rings through the cafe. A forgotten spot inside of her warms at the sound of it. His laugh hasn't changed. Not a bit.

"I can't believe it's been ten years since I last saw you," he says, subtly eyeing her hands. "You married yet?"

It's a question she's heard a million times over the last ten years, one that has never ceased to irritate her. However, for some reason - maybe that flirtatious smile or no-judgement tone of his - she finds that she doesn't mind it coming from Robin. Her voice goes soft as she answers him.

"Almost." She pauses, thinking back. "He wanted another child… I didn't."

Robin nodded understandingly but didn't press any further. She was grateful for that. It'd been years since that disappointment. No reason to dive into it again.

"What about you? Are you married?"

She'd noticed a distinct lack of a ring on the subway but given Margot, it was still a question worth asking. Unexpected relief rose in her chest when she saw him shake his head.

"Almost." He repeated. "I wanted that child" - he tilts his head toward Margot, who's still browsing the travel section - "... she didn't."

"Oh." Regina's lips gently parts. "So… Margot's mother…"

"Not a part of our lives. Never has been," he succinctly sums up. There's a little edge to his voice, signaling old pain and anger. "It's never bothered me and I'd say Margot doesn't mind either… but that might be a lie."

Regina nods, silently taking in all he says. A part of her aches for him, for Margot over what's clearly a complicated, painful situation. Another part of her hopes, perhaps more strongly than she should, for something that she thought she'd lost the chance at years ago.

"Robin Locksley…" She breathes his name. "I don't even know what to say."

Nervously licking his lips, he shifted in his chair to face her. "What if I said that's been ten years since the last time we talked… and I haven't stopped thinking of you since?"

Heat rose in her cheeks as she tried to stamp down the smile threatening to overtake her face. "I'd say there much more important things than can occupy space in your head than me."

"They're in there too." He shrugged. "Doesn't mean I didn't save a spot for you."

Her smiles wins out then, restrained and closed-lipped but present. For ten years she'd wondered if she was the only one thinking of them, of who they used to be and what they could've been. It's nice to know it wasn't just her.

"Do you believe in fate, Regina?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "No. I don't think I've believed in fate for a very long time."

"How about second chances then?"

"Robin…"

"It can't be a coincidence," he gently insists. "That I'm here and you're here, that we ran into each other on this day. I just can't believe the universe is that lazy."

Neither can she… but she can't believe it's that kind either. "It's been twenty years since we were together Robin. You don't even know me now."

"I know… but I'd like to." His blue eyes twinkled with hope and mischief. "Don't you want to know me, Regina Mills?"

Again, something deep inside her lights up, like the ghost of her teenage self reaching out for the shadow of his. She lets her eyes wander over his face, taking in every new crinkle, wrinkle and line, each one reminding her of how much time had passed and how many different things had changed. Was it worth wading through all those changes to hope one single thing stayed the same?

"I suppose… learning your coffee order wouldn't kill me," she reasons, unable to tear her eyes away from his.

Colombian with three sugars and cream. She orders one for him, a cup of green tea for her and for the next hour they sit together catching up, reminiscing and rediscovering each other. For Regina, the conversation could've lasted forever and it still would've been too short. A stab of disappointment ran through her when Margot finally returned, book in hand and ready to go. It's sharpness overwhelmed her. The last time she'd said goodbye to Robin it had been easy to let him go. She'd gotten what she needed and she'd thought it was the end but here he was, in front of her once again. Hopeful, handsome and reaching out to her for another chance.

How could she possibly say no?

As they stepped out onto the sidewalk into the warm city air - he and Margot headed in one direction and her in another - she pressed a business card into the palm of his head. It's true she didn't believe in fate anymore. But second chances? Perhaps they still existed.


End file.
